PART 5: Stay free of Infidelity

Dream your pictures, paint your dreams. Don't let life get you down. Stay strong & rise above your circumstances. Each storm will pass you by and a new dawn will come

PART 5 (the final part): STAYING FREE AND STAYING HAPPY

5.1...FREE FROM BONDAGES & GUILT

The man who is happiest is the man who is free from guilt and bondages in his life. Time and again I have seen successful men in their own fields live lives of 'secret' relationships thinking that they deserve to be able to have pleasures that should be rightfully theirs. One such person was a man whom I knew in my Banking days. He was one of the richest men in the state of Sabah and he had three different families from three different sources. At the end of his time, his whole life was a failure and he was wracked by family feuds that troubled him no end. He died a sad and tragic figure watching his business empire crumble under the weight of divisions & contentions - a far cry from what he once was. His families virtually rejected him at the end.

5.2...CAN ANYONE BE STRONG ENOUGH?

Almost no one is strong enough to resist the temptation of lust and desire. Great pastors and church leaders have fallen in this area and many others in different secular and other religious fields have watched their own moral values crumble under the onslaught of pornography, decadent values and moral decadence. If a man places himself in a situation of compromise and if the 'other' party is a willing one, there is almost no chance for resistance to take place, such is the moral weakness of most men especially leaders. Staying free of infidelity is therefore a life-long endeavor. Staying free must necessarily also require that man to flee from situations which give rise to irresistable temptations.

5.3...A WORLD WHERE INTERACTIVE RELATIONSHIPS IS EXPECTED

In a world where interactive relationships are necessary to succeed, it is not protection that is the key. Perhaps it is not even about prevention. Time and again, those who are protected fall even more heavily when the facade of protection is withdrawn. Those who are protected too closely will find that they are incapable of resisting temptation without the protective covering. While prevention is important, it is still not enough to help men stand strongly moral in the face of the storm of decadence. What must be the keys to helping men become characters of substance is equipping and positioning them to resist what is all around them. It is also about helping them to stand away from dangers when it draws near.

5.4...WHEN ALL IS SAID AND DONE.....

When all is said and done, spiritual sanctity and fidelity would probably be the best answer for a world that is besetted by infidelity. A strong faith in God and a life that is committed to serve him and to do his will is perhaps the best answer for men who have a problem that they want to sincerely overcome. I can see no other solution that is as effectively enduring. In my own personal experience, after years of trying to beat a problem that I had no answer to, I found that my re-commitment to a God of grace and love was what brought me back to sanity and a life of freedom from guilt and moral decadence.

5.5...POST-SCRIPT

I decided to write this 5-part blog on infidelity when I heard about my 2 friends who had fallen into such a situation. I am praying for them and for their restoration. I see their family in anguish and pain and I feel for them. In the first case of a Pastor friend, I see a man in repentance and who is trying to tear out the roots of sexual addiction. He has cut off the "trunk" of the tree of infidelity and now he is moving toward tearing out the roots. His repentance, remorse and his willingness to be accountable is part of the process of seriously moving to tear out the roots of sexual addiction. I am rooting for him and I believe he will succeed and become better in the years to come.

The second friend also has such a problem with his sexual sojourns. From what I have heard, he is unrepentant and he denies the allegations of sexual exposure levelled at him recently. He contends that this is a plot to discredit him and to bring down his ministries. Sadly, such a confrontational response is symptomatic of a man in denial. He is angry because of the humilty & embarassment of such allegations and he is adamant that he has done little wrong. I am also praying for him too because he is a good friend. I know how he feels and how heavy it must be weighing upon his life and his mind. But he has to come clean. If he fails to do this, he will go back again and again to his old habits and his closing years will likely be bitter years. I pray that he will have the courage to move forward and trust God to do a work of healing and restoration in his life.

5.6...SOME FINAL WORDS OF EXHORTATION

May God bless those of you who have read the 5-part articles that I have written in my blog. I was once bound by the values of the world which justified every foray into things that were seemingly only marginally wrong at first. Small mistakes unfortunately lead to bigger ones. Initially, the strong sense of guilt were deterrents to moral wrongs but they were deterrents only when no justification was added to its decadent fiber. Soon, deeper forays were routinely justified away. It quickly became fashionable to be "in" because the world saw nothing wrong in such actions. In fact, they often applauded moral misadventures as acts of great courage. I have now learnt that the cowards are the ones who please their own selfish egos and act deceptively towards their families who have stayed loyal and faithful to them. The brave ones on the other hand, are those who can stand up against the immoral standards that have largely become the norm and be counted against them.

Is it any easier having seemingly beaten the problem? my answer is, "You never ever can beat the problem. It is a life-long endeavor and so long as you continue to put your hands in the hands of God, walk with him everyday and do your best to be vigilant in every area of your life, you will have a chance to be morally right!" It is about standards and staying with the discipline of never over-stepping into the boundaries of doubt and uncertainty.

May God bless you all richly as you seek to walk in the path of fidelity and faithfulness to your spouse, your family, your friends and your God.....