SOME QUESTIONS THAT CAME....

Just this morning, as I came out from the meeting where I had spoken at, this lady with tears in her eyes came up to me and said, "You spoke about your estrangement from your father for 17 years where you did not interact with him because of what had happened when you were young." Then she added in a hoarse whisper, "I have never known what a father's love is; I have never had someone called a father hug me and say how he loves me. He passed away a long time ago....." and then her voice trailed off. Then she said, "This morning as you spoke, I just felt such an emptiness in my heart. Can you tell me how I can fill this void in my life?"

I was speechless for a while and my heart went out to her. She was probably more than 60 years old and all this while, she had longed for a loving touch from a father but had never found it. As I looked back to my life where I too missed my father's love for so many years, I knew the answer in her case cannot be one laced with reason and rationale. When I was at my lowest moment looking for an answer, I found it when I turned to God and pleaded with him to help me understand why I could not have my actual father embrace me with his love. It was at such a time of desolation and "aloneness" that I said, "God, if you are really that God of love whom people tell me you are, then touch me now and let me feel your love.

As I said that, I felt a sudden touch of compassion and love that I had never felt before. It was like a powerful gust of wind that came and not only refreshed me, but also enveloped me with its light and its rays. I felt loved that day like never before. I knew then that this is the answer to what I have missed in the absence of my earthly father's love. As I turned to that tear-stained lady, I said softly, "You will find your answer if you turn to the one who has loved you with an everlasting love." With a slight twinge on her face, she replied and said, "I know. It was just that I needed you to confirm it for me." Then she smiled as the tears dried on her face.....

Pure unadulterated love

Today, I spent the whole day with my Grandson, Daniel Ong (11) whom I brought back from Australia to spend a month with. He requested me to wake up very early to take him to school to see his old schoolmates and a girl whom he was anxious to be good friends with. I sent him at 6-50 am and waited patiently for him as he asked for permission from his ex-Teacher to go in to be with his schoolmates for a few hours. Then in the afternoon, he insisted on going again and I had to stand in the hot sun for another hour patiently waiting for him as he waited for his 'beau'.

I told him afterwards that I did not have to go through such an ordeal when I was courting his Grandmother 40 years ago. Then I took him for lunch and had to help him send emails to his old friends. Finally it was off to teach him how to play badminton. Of course with such a hectic schedule, he sat on our bed and was soon fast asleep.

As I looked at him lying there in his innocence, I stretched out to stroke his face. In his "half awake-half asleep" stupor, he reached back and gripped my hands in his. What pure unadulterated joy and contentment flowed through my emotions. It was a love that exceeded what the human heart could contain and I was happy like I had not been for a long long time. Even if he did not respond to my love, I would have loved him just as much. As I looked at him lovingly, I felt God's eyes looking at me in a somewhat similar way. I felt like I could have just stayed in his arms and basked in his warmth. Yes he loves me unconditionally. What an assurance!

Laugh a bit.....

Dream your pictures, paint your dreams. Don't let life get you down. Stay strong & rise above your circumstances. Each storm will pass you by and a new dawn will come

BOY! WAS IT A MISTAKE!!

I had just finished attending a meeting in Kota Kinabalu. There I met this old friend of mine whom I had not seen for a good 15 years. As I warmly shook his hands and chatted with him about the old days we started to bond again. Then I saw a lady seated just next to him who looked just a wee bit old. I turned to him and said, "Great to see you bringing your mother along!"

His face changed expressions and then he exclaimed, "What? My mother? She is my wife!!!"

I was embarassed no end and the great bonding turned sour! He quickly left and did not even bother to say goodbye. Have you had such an experience before? I have learnt to now shoot my mouth slower and be careful about how we perceive situations!!!

LET ME END WITH THIS STORY ON THE RIGHT RESPONSES.....

This young man who was studying in England was such a great spender that his parents were tired with his constant request for money and the way he wrote home. One day they received what was the last straw for them because the letter was brief and short and it contained the following message....

"Dear daddy, no money, not funny, your Sonny"

The parents thought through this and decided that enough is enough so they replied.....

"Dear Lad, so sad, too bad, your Dad!"

Isn't this how we should sometimes respond to the wrong requests?????

On character and standing

"Many people have ideas on how others should change; few people have ideas on how they should change.".....Leo Tolstoy

"It's amazing how many cares disappear when you decide not be be something but to be someone!"..... Coco Chanel

How true the above sayings........

I have just returned from Australia and coming back home (and Malaysia is certainly my home - my country whom I dearly love), I am saddened by how things are developing in this country that has such potential for greatness but has such little tolerance for openness and the truth........

On Politics and political meanderings......
I had expected Sharizat to challenge Rafidah Aziz for the Presidency of UMNO even before I left for Perth. I cannot imagine how such a smart woman as Rafidah can rationalise her position by contesting and then saying that she will step down from her position in March. She was my Lecturer before and I always held a very high view of her abilities but even my regard for her from that angle cannot rightly help me fathom why she would want to overstay her welcome in this way. She has served the Women's wing so well for many years; she has left her legacy there. Now all these years of reputation built among UMNO wanita can come crumbling down because of pride or stupidity. The fact that Sharizat had garnered such high votes when she was not even contesting for Presidency shows that many in UMNO Wanita are already fed-up with Rafidah. With such signs, how can it be that she still doesn't see that she is overstaying.

If she resigns today, she will go down in the annals of UMNO Wanita as a great leader who has contributed greatly to its cause. She will be seen as an elder stateswoman who had the mantle of greatness upon her life. If she contest the Presidency and loses, it will be an ignominous end to what could have been such a meaningful and dignified exit. Why, why, why????? Why contest and hold the position for a short few more months and upset the many who feel that it is all a farce to begin with? What difference can three or four more short months in power do?? It doesn't stand to reason.Such a smart woman - such foolish thoughts......

Could it be that the hold on power is so irresistably strong that she just wants to see if there is just that small marginal chance for her to continue another term. People who are in power that long cannot see themselves. They have always been told by their loyal subordinates what they have wanted to hear all these years such that they cannot look at reality anymore. They have sadly mistaken character for standing and standing for character........ How sad!!!!!!

On Air Asia and budget fares
I was tickled pink to read in the Star about an irate Air Asia traveller who complained about the new Air Buses of Air Asia on her trip to Melbourne. She lamented about the 3-3-3 seating arrangement on Air Asia and said that the seats were too narrow. I think she must either be an ignoramus or someone who complains about everything in her life. Thank God I am not married to such a one as this!

I am a seasoned traveller flying to various destinations about 3 times a month. I use both MAS and Air Asia. Let me be very candid and fair in my views here. Air Asia has really brought air travel to such affordable levels that almost everybody can now afford to fly. They have done a huge favor to us because I remember so clearly MAS announcing that they will have no choice but to increase air travel between KL and Kota Kinabalu to above the RM1,000 level when they still had a monopoly of the skies a few years back. Those of us who travelled regualrly betweeen the 2 destinations were horrified. We knew that MAS was just passing the cost of their terrible incompetence and unchecked spending to passengers on this sector. Those of us who were affected could only sigh great gulps of relief when Air Asia came in and brought rates so low that MAS had to sing a different tune.

I have now made Air Asia the carrier of my choice even though I can well afford to travel on MAS and other other airlines. The reasons are simple - the "no frills" approach makes sense to all of us and the purchase of food on board gives us an option of choice. I took the new Air buses to Perth and back last week and I must say "Kudos" to Air Asia. The planes were clean and functional and the seat spaces were just like the ones on SIA and MAS (Economy class). So just what was the writer in STAR talking about when she complained about space?? I have no idea. I am 6 feet 1 inch tall and I was quite happy with the comfortable seats and the space. I had a great flight to Perth as well as great flight back. Obviously she must weigh 220 pounds or be 6 feet 5 inches tall.

On Politics in organisations......
So you thought politics only existed on the political stage in Malaysia. Would you believe me if I told you that there is just as much politics in the NGO scene. I belong to a Rotary club as I have done so for many years. In my latest Rotary club, I can't believe the efforts that people would take to go out of their way to play politics and use methods that are more suited in UMNO, MCA, DAP, PAS, MIC and the likes of such parties. Back-stabbing, spreading rumors, creating pressure groups, targeting people to expel, appointing "yes" people, etc are all found in the drama of social organizations. I could go on and on about the orgnazational infidelities of people but suffice it to say that the corruption of values is as much prevalent as the corruption of morals.

There is scant regard for grace and goodness and people who discredit others by calling into question character and standing are themselves full of blemishes. But do they see these blemishes?? Sadly no!! So the scheming and conniving goes on and people who are sincere and desirous of building ideals get wrestled out of the way. How sad the ways of men and how devious are the intentions of men?

Samuel Butler states that "There are no mistakes so great as that of being always right!" How true this saying. Leroy Eimes adds, "A Leader is one who sees more than others see, who sees farther that others see, and who sees before others see...." I pray that we will have more of such Leaders both in the political arena in Malaysia as well as in the social and communal arenas.......

On more pleasant things....
I brought my Grandson back from Perth for one month and what a joy it is to be able to share with him moments and events. I taught him to swim this morning and when he completed about 12 laps, I was so happy. Then I taught him badminton and pushed him to play until his hands and body ached. The I took him for my Rotary meeting and made him sit through it. As we walked back to the car with my hands wrapped around his shoulders, I knew that the joys of this world cannot compare to having the love of someone you value and care for. It is now almost 1.20 am and he is asleep. As I look into his face of innocence, I can only feel a love that is matchless. It need not be spoken out and yet it is there. I know that I will love him irrespective of who he is and what he becomes. It is a faithful love and one that has little conditions. I can just sense the flow of emotions so strong they are like a torrent - even when asleep, it is there.

Tonight I will sleep and be assured because I know my God loves me just like that except that it is even more!!! How blessed am I to be able to love my Grandson so unreservedly and to know that I am also loved just as unreservedly and more.

Ong Hock Siew

On character and standing

"Many people have ideas on how others should change; few people have ideas on how they should change."

On guilt & conscience

Dream your pictures, paint your dreams. Don't let life get you down. Stay strong & rise above your circumstances. Each storm will pass you by and a new dawn will come

THE PANGS OF GUILT.....
I will never forget the time when I first felt the pangs of guilt so strongly. I had been secretly stealing from my brother Hock Beng's stacks of coins that he had so painstakingly accummulated under the empty bed where no one was using. My father loved him (being the youngest son) and he would be given a lot of coins where we had none.

GUILT COMES STRONGEST WHEN THE WRONG IS FIRST DONE
The first time I opened the mat which covered his coins and took from the stacks there, I felt really bad - it was a sense of guilt that I had done something very wrong. Certainly, I was not entitled to the money but the slot machine opposite my house had the more urgent desire. After losing what I took from him, I would quickly take some more. The second time I stole from that pack, I felt a bit less bad. Then I took more and more...... and I kept feeling less and less bad.

REPENTANCE IS NATURAL WHEN WE ARE CAUGHT BUT IT DOES NOT LAST
Soon I began to justify why I was doing it - and I used the favoritism that my Dad had for him as the reason why I shouldn't feel bad about taking the money. After a while I actually felt like there was nothing wrong. Then I was caught and all hell broke lose. He complained in tears to my mother and my mother who was brought up by the missionaries as an orphan detested lies and stealing. The beating that I got as punishment got me guilty again and for a while I felt repentant. Then as quickly as it came, I did not feel so bad soon enough. True repentance, I found from an early age is not about just the shedding of "crocodile" tears. It has to touch the spirit deeply if it is to last.

SOON JUSTIFICATION TAKES OVER IF WE DO NOTHING ABOUT IT..
This was one of my early encounters with guilt. I realized that if I kept doing something wrong, the guilt turns to acceptance and acceptance quickly gave way to justification. This is exactly how sin works and in the same way, we quickly explain it away. That is why we seldom end up correcting our wrongs. Infidelity is like that and the more we get into it, the more we think there is nothing wrong. Corruption is also like that too. Ask the guy who got rich from corruption and he will take a lot of pains to explain to you why he is legitimate in what he does. Ask anyone about his own wrongs and he will explain how it is not like what you think. Wrongs can be right - it just depends on whose view it is.

CONSCIENCE IS A LITTLE BIT DIFFERENT
I remember being introduced to Butterfly catching when I was 10 years old. I thoroughly enjoyed running after the colorful butterflies and catching them in this big net that I had bought. The only problem was that each time a butterfly was caught, someone had to take it out of the net and press on its thorax until it is knocked out. At that tender age, each time I saw my friends do it, I would be horrified by that cruel act. My conscience simply would not allow me to be so cruel!

CONSCIENCE IS THE BEST DETERRENT SO LONG AS WE DO NOT STIFLE IT
Not willing to press all the air out of butterflies meant that I had to probably give up what I loved doing best - collecting these beautiful creatures on wing and I was not willing to do it. After days of contemplating the choices, I decided that I had to do what I had to do! So it was - the next time I caught a butterfly and it was huge "Rajah Brooke Birdwing", I had to take it up and pressed it on the thorax. I did it with great difficulty - that night I could not sleep becuase I felt so bad about it. I had to wrestle with my conscience the whole night long.

THE DEATH OF CONSCIENCE - THE BIG PROBLEM WITH MAN
The next time I had to do it, I did it and although I still felt bad, I quickly did what I had to do. Then I did it again and again. On my tenth catch, I was not even thinking about my feelings anymore. I told myself that these lovely butterflies would die pretty soon anyway (they had life spans of between 14-20 days on average) and so I did it!!! After that, there were no more problems. That day when I felt nothing within me stirring anymore, my conscience died.

WITHOUT A CLEAR CONSCIENCE, WE HAVE LOST BEFORE WE CAN START
It is now years since I collected my last butterfly but I still think back to those days whenever I encounter issues that had to do with my conscience. On more occasions than one, my unclear conscience sputtered and died when I had to confront my secret desires and wants. It was always a losing battle when I had to stop going into something that I knew was not right. Stepping into temptations has been one of the biggest problems I have had in my life of excitement. Stepping away from them have been most difficult. I have since discovered that conscience is only useful and a deterrent if we take the early steps to avoid giving rein to our sinful nature. Anything after that is academic. Is it any wonder then that most men fall badly in their lives; some never to recover again..........

You can dream it!!

Dream your pictures, paint your dreams. Don't let life get you down. Stay strong & rise above your circumstances. Each storm will pass you by and a new dawn will come. Remember to read the 5-part series on INFIDELITY by scrolling down. Share it with a friend who is going through a tough time with this issue.

I am currently in Perth. I am having such a great time walking my Grandchildren to school holding their little hands as we cross the road together. It is times like these that make our lives so much richer. The love I feel for them is so much like the love that I feel God has for me. When I fell head first into the 3 feet swimming pool in MBS and crushed my head into the bottom, I felt his hands around me when I regained consciousness choking on the water. It was like as if he was holding on to me and loving me at the same time. he spared my life again....... I am humbled and I am grateful for his wonderful grace & mercies.....

I am not sure with my latest neck injury from that diving accident if I can dive again. my neck still hurts when I turn but I am grateful for life. people used to tell me that at 58, I am past doing the things that younger people can do. I know that it is not true. So long as we are willing to step out and try, we will achieve most of what we set out to do. That has been the story of my life and that's how it will be. look at my video and see if it is not true.....

PART 5: Stay free of Infidelity

Dream your pictures, paint your dreams. Don't let life get you down. Stay strong & rise above your circumstances. Each storm will pass you by and a new dawn will come

PART 5 (the final part): STAYING FREE AND STAYING HAPPY

5.1...FREE FROM BONDAGES & GUILT

The man who is happiest is the man who is free from guilt and bondages in his life. Time and again I have seen successful men in their own fields live lives of 'secret' relationships thinking that they deserve to be able to have pleasures that should be rightfully theirs. One such person was a man whom I knew in my Banking days. He was one of the richest men in the state of Sabah and he had three different families from three different sources. At the end of his time, his whole life was a failure and he was wracked by family feuds that troubled him no end. He died a sad and tragic figure watching his business empire crumble under the weight of divisions & contentions - a far cry from what he once was. His families virtually rejected him at the end.

5.2...CAN ANYONE BE STRONG ENOUGH?

Almost no one is strong enough to resist the temptation of lust and desire. Great pastors and church leaders have fallen in this area and many others in different secular and other religious fields have watched their own moral values crumble under the onslaught of pornography, decadent values and moral decadence. If a man places himself in a situation of compromise and if the 'other' party is a willing one, there is almost no chance for resistance to take place, such is the moral weakness of most men especially leaders. Staying free of infidelity is therefore a life-long endeavor. Staying free must necessarily also require that man to flee from situations which give rise to irresistable temptations.

5.3...A WORLD WHERE INTERACTIVE RELATIONSHIPS IS EXPECTED

In a world where interactive relationships are necessary to succeed, it is not protection that is the key. Perhaps it is not even about prevention. Time and again, those who are protected fall even more heavily when the facade of protection is withdrawn. Those who are protected too closely will find that they are incapable of resisting temptation without the protective covering. While prevention is important, it is still not enough to help men stand strongly moral in the face of the storm of decadence. What must be the keys to helping men become characters of substance is equipping and positioning them to resist what is all around them. It is also about helping them to stand away from dangers when it draws near.

5.4...WHEN ALL IS SAID AND DONE.....

When all is said and done, spiritual sanctity and fidelity would probably be the best answer for a world that is besetted by infidelity. A strong faith in God and a life that is committed to serve him and to do his will is perhaps the best answer for men who have a problem that they want to sincerely overcome. I can see no other solution that is as effectively enduring. In my own personal experience, after years of trying to beat a problem that I had no answer to, I found that my re-commitment to a God of grace and love was what brought me back to sanity and a life of freedom from guilt and moral decadence.

5.5...POST-SCRIPT

I decided to write this 5-part blog on infidelity when I heard about my 2 friends who had fallen into such a situation. I am praying for them and for their restoration. I see their family in anguish and pain and I feel for them. In the first case of a Pastor friend, I see a man in repentance and who is trying to tear out the roots of sexual addiction. He has cut off the "trunk" of the tree of infidelity and now he is moving toward tearing out the roots. His repentance, remorse and his willingness to be accountable is part of the process of seriously moving to tear out the roots of sexual addiction. I am rooting for him and I believe he will succeed and become better in the years to come.

The second friend also has such a problem with his sexual sojourns. From what I have heard, he is unrepentant and he denies the allegations of sexual exposure levelled at him recently. He contends that this is a plot to discredit him and to bring down his ministries. Sadly, such a confrontational response is symptomatic of a man in denial. He is angry because of the humilty & embarassment of such allegations and he is adamant that he has done little wrong. I am also praying for him too because he is a good friend. I know how he feels and how heavy it must be weighing upon his life and his mind. But he has to come clean. If he fails to do this, he will go back again and again to his old habits and his closing years will likely be bitter years. I pray that he will have the courage to move forward and trust God to do a work of healing and restoration in his life.

5.6...SOME FINAL WORDS OF EXHORTATION

May God bless those of you who have read the 5-part articles that I have written in my blog. I was once bound by the values of the world which justified every foray into things that were seemingly only marginally wrong at first. Small mistakes unfortunately lead to bigger ones. Initially, the strong sense of guilt were deterrents to moral wrongs but they were deterrents only when no justification was added to its decadent fiber. Soon, deeper forays were routinely justified away. It quickly became fashionable to be "in" because the world saw nothing wrong in such actions. In fact, they often applauded moral misadventures as acts of great courage. I have now learnt that the cowards are the ones who please their own selfish egos and act deceptively towards their families who have stayed loyal and faithful to them. The brave ones on the other hand, are those who can stand up against the immoral standards that have largely become the norm and be counted against them.

Is it any easier having seemingly beaten the problem? my answer is, "You never ever can beat the problem. It is a life-long endeavor and so long as you continue to put your hands in the hands of God, walk with him everyday and do your best to be vigilant in every area of your life, you will have a chance to be morally right!" It is about standards and staying with the discipline of never over-stepping into the boundaries of doubt and uncertainty.

May God bless you all richly as you seek to walk in the path of fidelity and faithfulness to your spouse, your family, your friends and your God.....

PART 4: Infidelity's imprisonment

Dream your pictures, paint your dreams. Don't let life get you down. Stay strong & rise above your circumstances. Each storm will pass you by and a new dawn will come. This is Part 4 of a 5-part series on Infidelity. Start reading it from my postings on 10 October 2008.

4...BREAKING THROUGH & BREAKING OUT OF THE BONDAGE OF INFIDELITY

It was in the past weeks that I heard of 2 cases of infidelity that happened to people I knew and who were good people. How did they fall into such a situation? How could they have sacrificed all that they stood for to enjoy fleeting moments of pleasure? Their family suffered greatly and the emotional scars that they left behind would take a long time to heal.

How can such people break out and break free from these bondages which often hold them in their grip often for life? I have no easy answers but I know it can be done. I know because I have been there before and for years I was living such a clandestine existence trying to hide from the shadow of emotions that were seared and scarred. Hidden secrets and illicit relationships are like wounds that never heal. They are never healed because there is no attempt to dig out all the roots of infidelity. It is when the roots are completely plucked out that infidelity has a chance of redress. Not even a small portion of its roots can be left behind because all it needs is a small little lump and it soon grows its ugly shoot again.

4.1...THERE IS A NEED TO FIRST CUT OFF THE "TRUNK" OF INFIDELITY

The first preliminary step is to first cut off the "trunk" of infidelity. This is to remove the relationship and to end whatever liaison is existing. This is very important as a preliminary step so that the influence of the pleasures of stolen sex is ended. Remember what I am saying here - it is only a preliminary step. If ending the relationship is the only action, there will soon be a resumption of that old relationship or even new relationships because the roots have not been dealt with. The cutting of the trunk is very often done only when there is exposure of the situation. Being caught and exposed is not a voluntary act and so up until such a time, there is still usually no willingness to move beyond this point. Many men actually go back to their old habits and when they do so, the later problem often gets much worse than the former position. Usually, when this happens, separation and divorce inevitably follows and many lives would have badly damaged 'psyche' because of this. Sometimes, the cutting of the "trunk" comes because there is deep inner remorse and an overwhelming desire for repentance. This can happen at a special meeting or occasion where God is met in a spiritual encounter. Such a situation usually stands a better chance of having the roots extracted because there is already a willingness for it.

4.2...NEXT THERE MUST BE A WILLINGNESS TO EXPUNGE ALL THE ROOTS

Interestingly, the key word here is "willingness" and not expunge all the roots. Without such a willingness, the destruction of the roots cannot follow. How is such a willingness drawn out? It can come only with a repentance that touches the spirit. It has to be a deep repentance and it must usually follow with confession. I am convinced that it is better to bring it out to the open at least before God. Forgiveness must be seeked from having being in such a position and unless that change is one that is empowered by God, some of the roots will linger.

It is interesting to see how a man in a position of infidelity would react and respond to the situation. It is tough because it involves "face", ego and dignity and often that man in such a situation is subject to a great deal of embarassment and humiliation. The greater tendency after some time of reflection would be to stand and fight rather than to give in ot the ignominy of it all. A man involved with such a situation would have his entire reputation called into question and many would not be prepared to drop into such realms of brokenness just for restoration to come. The defensive stance is very tragic because accusations, lies and cross-accusation would come strongly into play. The truth will be pushed aside in such situations and both oppressor and victim would carry ong-term scars of such an emotional conflict. For the man in such a situation, his attempt to justify his despicable actions would carry with it grave consequences. He would probably continue to live such a lie in his life until his closing years. There will be great bitterness in his life and the anger of self-vindication will likely be destructive, to say the least. Again and again, I have seen such men fall into estrangement even with their own families. In their closing years, their families will probably forsake them and the tragedy of unhealed wounds will congeal in their emotions.

A PERSONAL WORD OF ADVICE

Let me say to men who are in such a position that they have really only one viable option if they are to restore their standing and faith - and that is to 'come clean'. It is far better for those who have fallen into such a state to make a new beginning to come back because such a lesson will make that man a likely blessing to others in his later years. Someone who comes back and determines to make his life a different one will have a clear chance to rise again to the high heights of excellence. It is the really strong personality who will admit that he has erred. That recognition makes it possible for him to go into the next two restorative steps.....

4.3...THE FOLLOWING MOVE MUST BE TO EXPUNGE ALL REMAINING ROOTS

I used to have a huge garden in one of my previous houses. I remember how weeds will grow very quickly in my garden. One type of weed that grew thick in its branches had deep roots. I used to cut off the surface growth and try to destroy part of its root system. However, I found that the weeds will soon grow back again even stronger. Digging out the roots of the weeds was not easy and it required effort. But each time that I went down deep and took out all the roots, I found that it would not grow again for a long time. This is the same thing with infidelity. It is a terrible "weed" that must be completely taken out. The secret to taking it all out is the big issue. How can this be effectively done?

I believe that there must be a spiritual correction to what is a spiritual problem. The sexual union in the infidelity would have reached down deep into the spirit (remember the 4 parts of response). The destruction of that spiritual root is best dealt with in a restorative spiritual act - asking God for forgiveness and seeking him to bring deliverance and expulsion of the spiritual roots through repentance, forgiveness, restitution and restoration. There has to follow a time of coming before God in prayer and meditation. The highest form of repentance is a spiritual repentance driven by the divine.

NEXT: THE FINAL PART: A LIFE-LONG ISSUE - HOW TO STAY FREE!

PART 3: Causes of Infidelity

Dream your pictures, paint your dreams. Don't let life get you down. Stay strong & rise above your circumstances. Each storm will pass you by and a new dawn will come (START READING FROM POINT 1 - POSTING ON 10 NOVEMBER 2008. THIS IS SERIES OF 5 PARTS ON INFIDELITY).

3...DEALING WITH THE SOURCES & CAUSES OF INFIDELITY

3.1...THE ROOTS MUST BE DEALT WITH FIRST
Using the analogy of the tree, cutting the "trunk" of infidelity is really only a temporary measure at best. Without digging all of its roots (and I stress 'all'), the re-emergence of Infidelity will soon come back. There is no other way to address the situation except through an extraction of all the roots of that evil. Often it is through a realization of the pain that it is causing loved ones that brings about a deep repentance. At other times, it is exposure of the infidelity that brings about the change. there are no easy ways to deal with infidelity. The roots have to be severed completely and it is not an easy task

3.2...THE DARK SHADOW OF THE INFLUENCE OF PORNOGRAPHY
Almost without fail, all those who are deeply involved with infidelity has got a pornography connection. The problem with pornography is that it is often kept as a secret and sometimes not even the close members of the family are aware of what is going on. Many men are addicted to strong sexual images and many can't even have sex without conjuring pornographic fantasies in their minds, such is the influence of pornography. Pornography has a sharp two-edged cut - one, it invokes a constant deeper involvement into hardcore pornography and two, it causes men to be dissatisfied with their wives. The pornographic images are almost of perfectly contoured bodies and any attempt at comparisons will almost always lead to disinterest in the spouses of men. Pornography is often a secret with grave consequences.

There is really no end to pornography. It delves deep into the spirit and it stays there provoking the body to long for those times where that deep inner need has to be satisfied. Almost without exception, pornography would cause a veering of the mind and the spirit into distortions and perverted imaginations. If a man is honest enough, he will say that life is a constant battle of trying to keep out image fantasies from his mind. If a really beautiful girl walks by, it will be the really virteous guy who can keep a straight face and walk past that image of beauty and desire without a second glance. That is how men are often caught up with their own little corners of desires and images that are not wholesome.

3.3...THE INFLUENCE OF BROKEN FAMILIES & ADULTEROUS RELATIONSHIPS
Often, it would seem that the men who have grown up in disjointed families (where brokenness and adulterous relationships have been an integral part of their upbringing) should have the strength to overcome such implicative and negative tendencies. Surprisingly however, many of the men who fall are exactly replicative of their fathers who were morally defective. The 'copycat' syndromme is often the trend in modern families.

3.4...THE INFLUENCE OF THE INTERNET AND ENTERTAINMENT
The image of models and 'stars' are projected into almost every area of our lives. The Internet has become such a supplier of pornography that it has become one of the largest and most signifciant revenue areas on the net. Entertainment in trying to secure ever -increasing revenue flows has joined in the trend towards liberalisation and fantsies to draw in the crowds. It is all about responses and demand. More and more, moral values are thrown to the wind in what ends up as entertainment. Information has also become a source of great moral declines. So long as the Internet maintains its high limits of tolerance, such liberal values would continue to churn out images of women and sex that are accessible to many. Those who feast on such presentations would soon treat infidelity with lower standards of concern.

3.5...THE FAMILY MAKE-UP
Without going into details of what is happening to modern families today, it is safe to say that families are beginning to deteriorate in their moves towards sexual emancipation. The lowering of standards is seen as an attempt to inculcate self-control and greater discipline. The arguments for a belief in the ability of people to make wise choices is today prevalent but it is flawed. That is why so many are falling into infidelity with drastic consequences.

Without restraints, the whole flow today is too strong to be countered. Not until people realize that the high price to pay for infidelity is a breakdown of the family unit will there be a move backwards into the moral acceptance of greater restraint and change.

Preventive controls are already too little too late. It is now about inducing the old-fashioned values of love and respect and about pushing the sanctity of marriage as the tools to be used against infidelity. There is still hope in such a push. If enough people stand up to speak for change, change can still come. It is now time to win proponents of fidelity to band up against the flow of too much liberalism. I have seen many cases of true repentance touching lives so strongly that they have changed for the better.

The move back into conventional spiritual values and a push for Godly intervention and help can be a catalyst for great change. It can and it must begin with us. It is like the small boy who was throwing back stranded starfishes into deep waters. An adult came by and seeing the thousands of stranded starfish littering the beach asked him, "Of what good are you doing when you can only help such a small fraction of the starfish stranded? What difference can you make to them, son?"

As a reply, he took one more stranded starfish and as he threw it back to the sea, he said to the adult, "For this starfish, I have made the difference.'

Yes, we certainly can make a difference. With small individual efforts, we can help men beat their infidelities and turn to build their families into strong and vibrant families impacting others.

NEXT: 4...BREAKING THROUGH AND BREAKING OUT OF ITS IMPRISONMENT

PART 2B: How Infidelity works

Dream your pictures, paint your dreams. Don't let life get you down. Stay strong & rise above your circumstances. Each storm will pass you by and a new dawn will come

PART 2: HOW THE HUMAN MIND-SET & DECISION-MAKING WORKS

2.4...THE HUMAN RESPONSE MECHANISM
There are 4 parts in the whole decision-making process - the body, the heart, the soul and the spirit. Without going into a detailed explanation of the process, most of the human response mechanism centres on the first three areas:

• 1...the body which is the physical touch and response process


• 2...the heart which is the emotional touch and response process and


• 3...the soul which is the mind or intelligence touch and response process


• 4...the spirit which is the spiritual touch and response process is seldom touched deeply except where it invokes deep emotional responses, anger, unforgiveness & sexual acts and ties. Why is the sexual area connoted in this area? It is because sex permeates every part of our being and it is embedded in the spirit of the person.

It is when the spirit part is touched that there are really deep registrations of imprint and it is difficult to break out of such 'ties' that touch the spirit. Men who have strayed into this area must first understand the workings of the spiritual touch and response process to have any chance to come out of the situation.

2.5...INFIDELITY TOUCHES DEEP INTO THE SPIRIT REALM
Infidelity reaches well beyond the first three areas of the human response mechanism. It carries the bodily sensation of satisfaction; it reaches well into the emotional highs of the heart and it goes deep into the inner recesses of the mind. Sexual feelings under the umbrella of illicit relationships also touches straight into the spirit of the people involved and this is the reason why the sexual union of illicit relationships is so severely addictive. It is a feeling that encompasses the whole being and it is hard to break free from such a feeling when entered into.

2.6...THE PERCEIVED IRRELEVANCE OF CONSEQUENCES WITH PLEASURE
Caution is usually thrown to the winds where great pleasure awaits. Once tasted, the pleasures of stolen waters becomes seemingly sweeter with the passing of each tryst and this continues so long as the joys of unbridled sex carries no implications of responsibilities. Once ownership is demanded by one of the two parties involved, the whole fabric of unencumbered pleasure would be called into question. But the pleasures of such thrills and excitement continues for great lengths of time because of the grip of the spirit. The unfortunate part is that it is really hard to let go.......

NEXT: PART 3 - DEALING WITH THE SOURCES & THE CAUSES OF INFIDELITY

PART 2A: Like a tree planted

Dream your pictures, paint your dreams. Don't let life get you down. Stay strong & rise above your circumstances. Each storm will pass you by and a new dawn will come

PART 2 CONTINUED...

2.3...Infidelity: The analogy of a tree planted
The planting a big strong tree begins with a seed. Infidelity is similar - it all begins with a little seed of desire. All the time when that seed starts to grow, it grows roots that finds its way down into the ground. These roots find their way to get entrenched so that the tree that grows up is held down altogether. Only after sometime does the trunk of the tree come out as a small harmless-looking shoot. It seems so innocent but when that shoot has emerged, it has already got a lot of roots holding it down. When the first signs of Infidelity comes out, it has already seen some time of quiet and secret development. At this stage, there is still some chance of resolution but it will already be slim.

If the shoot is allowed to grow into a tree with a solid trunk and branches, the situation would have become almost impossible to carve out solutions. To do that, you will need to cut off the tree and then de-root it. Merely cutting the trunk will be quite useless. That's because the problem will be resolved for a while and then the uncut part of the trunk will simply grow again. That's the way it is with Infidelity. It needs to hae all the roots pulled out. Even if you leave a few roots inits place, it will grow again. That's how serious infidelity is.

NEXT: 2.4...Understanding how the human MIND-SET & DECISION-MAKING works

PART 2: Consequences of Infidelity

Dream your pictures, paint your dreams. Don't let life get you down. Stay strong & rise above your circumstances. Each storm will pass you by and a new dawn will come

PART 2: THE GRIP OF INFIDELITY & ITS LASTING CONSEQUENCES

2.1...THE PREVALENCE OF INFIDELITY
The number of cases uncovered of infidelity in recent times suggest that it is much more prevalent than previously thought. If Infidelity is really looked at closely, one would see that it has always been a huge problem for Leaders. Kind David was one such example and it is not surprising to see the same kind of behaviorial links in Leaders who fail and fall.

2.2...SOME UNFORTUNATE RECENT EXAMPLES
Recently some of the cases of Infidelity that were shared with me were alarmingly blatant. Look at the cases that I am citing here:

CASE 1

It always begins with small things
John (not his real name) was a Senior Banker. He had met Gail (not her real name) at an Interbank meeting. At the first handshake, there was already chemistry in the exchanged glances. He was good looking, in his forties and a smooth talker. She was divorced and although a tad heavy, was still attractive in her heavily made-up appearance. A lunch meeting followed under the pretext of sharing notes on work-related problems. The suggestion of going on an outing followed and the venue was isolated enough for the two of them to spend quiet secluded moments together. Soon, the outings increased and innocent "hand-holds" developed into hugs and tender moments.

The development of the liaison - deeper involvement
When the suggestion for an out-of-town trip came, it was eagerly agreed to by both parties. Of course, only one room was booked as John had already got it all figured out. When the time for check-in came, he simply went up to the counter and did the check in personally. Then he led up to the lift and when he opened the room, she coyly asked him, "Are we staying together?" She had already kind of expected it. With trembling hands, he opened the door and before the bags could be stowed away, they were already in a warm embrace and as they kissed passionately, the whole stage was set for the next two days. They hardly left the room as they revelled in "affection" that had never been experienced before.

Guilt is only a temporary sojourn
When the two days were up, they were already talking about the next trip...... Guilt racked John as he went home where he gingerly explained that he had two tiring days of meetings and it was tough wanting to evoke empathy from his wife Kathy. Kathy had been long-suffering and she had suspected for a long time now her husband's tendency for infidelity. She had tried not to think about it and instead focussed on her children who were now in their teens. She thought that by spending time to develop them, she would earn his approval. Sex slowly became more and more of a routine that grew less and less. she simply didn't feel any depth in their sexual connections and soon she put it aside in her mind.

When the problem breaks out into the open.......
The situation continued in this way until one day she found evidence of their relationship. The tell-tale evidence left behind brought her smack into reality and she had now to confront the truth. When Kathy confronted John, he simply and blatantly said that he was involved and told her that he no longer wanted to live with her. It was that simple - he just walked out on her! There was not even enough time for recriminations. The hurts that came was unyielding and she could not sleep for months thinking about where she went wrong.

The tragedy of the consequences of Infidelity
Self-wracked by guilt initially, Kathy went from remorse to deep anger. A quiet intorvert, she gave way to fits of violent anger. She felt more than cheated and betrayed - she wanted to hit back. At the end after many occasions of bitter and acrimonious meetings arranged by well-meaning friends, she gave up trying. Divorce came two years later and she has come to terms with reality. Kathy is still attractive but she is already in her fifties. All she has to live for now are her children. The first grandchild has come but she still hasn't recovered fully. She is still given to bouts of crying and depression and carries resignation as her portion.

Is it really any better in the long-term
John is seemingly much happier in his new relationship but Gail has found out that he has carried out other relationships with younger girls. She has had no choice but to forgive him and accept him because she also "stole" him from someone else. she is hoping that with age (he is now almost 60) he will change.

THE UNANSWERED QUESTION
This tragic case brings forth some critical questions. Could the infidelity have been avoided? Could Kathy have done something to save the marriage? While various suggestions could be framed as seeming answers, it requires more than just logic and reasoning.

Sure Kathy could have done much more but John would have still gone on with the relationship. The answer is really in John's hand and that is why this series of Infidelity is so important. It is aimed at the men who are essentially the Initiators in such illicit relationships. In their hands lie the answer. Gail is to some extent a perpetrator but if John had not taken the initiative, the fall-out would not have happened. John must see the consequence of his act before there can be a chance at change. Then he has to seek help - he must understand that this is really an addiction and any attempt to change on his own accord can only result in failure. The third step which is what I hold personally is that he must turn to God to help him correct his terrible secret - that insatiable desire for gratification and girls. Turning to God is just a beginning. He has to really embrace God continuously if he hopes to beat this problem and keep the sanctity of his marriage aand family.

More will be talked about of this God-factor in the later Parts on Infidelity.

CASE 2

A Church Leader who fell.....

Case 2 is the story of a Church Leader who was also a corporate leader. Wallace was a successful General Manager of a huge corporation. He had been going regularly overseas on his marketing trips. On most of such trips, he had declared his standing where it came to entertainment and nightspots. He told his colleagues and clients that he was a Christian and had clear ideals that could not be violated.

External forces at work
This went on well for a couple of years. On one of the subsequent trips after this period of good behavior, one of his colleagues got together some clients and told them that they should really test Wallace's resolve and faith. They "booked" Lucy, one of the most beautiful and sexy girls from a well-known agency and said that if she could get him to sleep with her, they will give her a bonus that ran into the thousands. She took up the challenge attracted by the monetary reward.

Temptation begins with the onset of desire
Later that night, she knocked on his door dressed to tempt and attract. He made the mistake of opening his door a little to see who it was. What he saw blew his mind. Here was the most beautiful and exquisite woman he had ever seen and she was smiling invitingly at him. The slit on her cheongsam that came up to almost her thighs showed legs that went on forever and the dark shadows that flitted on the low neckline projected a tantalising image of sexual invitation. When he looked down at her body, he could feel a weakness creep up his legs. Then she said demurely, "I am a friend of some of your friends and they asked me to deliver a message to you. Can I come in?" Wallace did not need any persuasion at all.

The point of "no return" is very short
When she took that first step into his room, he had already lost the battle. She didn't even need to try very hard. The minute she leaned her firm toned body against his, he could already feel the obsession of sexual lust flow into him. As she helped him take off his shirt and sensually used her hands to run all over his body, he was totally and irreversibly committed to the torrid sessions that were already set in motion.

Resolve has no chance against lust
Such is the power of sex and lust that the strongest resolve can become putty in the hands of a skilled woman. Wallace had no chance after that. After that trip, he began to plan regular trips to that destination and each time, the first thing he did was to call Lucy. He could not do without her and he showered expensive gifts and monetary rewards on her. He could afford it and after all, it rejuvenated him. He began to find all kinds of justification to explain away his actions.

Justification is often a tool that falls short......
For a couple of years this went on and to banish his guilt, he did try to increase his physical interest in his wife. He had more sexual sessions with his wife and he used this to justify his extra-curricular activities. Unfortunately he had a sharp and perceptive wife. The change in behavior was not like Wallace. His wife started notice the change in dressing, the obsession with expensive things and the sharp increase in the credit card bills. Soon the suspicions was followed by 'tracking' trips to follow her husband. On one such trip, she waited until Lucy had entered his room. She had cleverly checked in at the Reception as his spouse and asked for a spare key. When she opened the door and saw her husband in a compromised position with Lucy, all hell broke loose.

The consequences of the "after-effects"
The aftermath that followed was one big battle. Although they did not divorce, the whole marriage had been undermined. It was to change negatively and the family sanctity was totally shattered. It was a litter of many broken pieces and it has remained this way for the past 15 years since it happened.

The Unanswered Question
Wallace remained a church leader right across the time when he was carrying his infidelity at its highest point. He did not allow even the slightest restraint to stop his philandering ways. It is amazing in its continuation over that time. Guilt figured only very briefly and it is interesting to note that guilt is never any effective as a deterrent. Why did Wallace forsake his beatiful family for someone he knew had no sense of fidelity to him. He knew that the minute he left Lucy, she would have a host of other lovers. Yet, he chose to remain oblivious to such unfaithfulness and stuck to what simply satisfied him. His considerations for his family was relegated to non-importance. Sad isn't it? The strongest bonds are still not enough in the fight against sexual lust and infidelity......

2.2...THE HUGE GRIP OF INFIDELITY
Those who know infidelity will almost know that it is one of the toughest task of all to break its hold on a man's life. Why is Infidelity so different from the other problems that we face in our lives? It is because Infidelity is an intrusion into the deepest part of our being and it touches into our spirits. Can addiction be broken? Can what is deeply ingrained in the spirit man be easily broken?

NEXT: 2.3...THE ANALOGY OF A TREE PLANTED

PART 1: Understanding Infidelity

Dream your pictures, paint your dreams. Don't let life get you down. Stay strong & rise above your circumstances. Each storm will pass you by and a new dawn will come

PART 1: INFIDELITY HAS TO BE UNDERSTOOD IN ITS TOTALITY

In the next few postings, the subject matter will be on Infidelity and why men in particular are so prone to fail and fall in this area of their lives....... It is my hope that spouses will read this together and begin to understand why this is such a serious threat to marriages in the modern world. The problem is often denial and a reluctance to consider the issue (until it is too late) for fear that exposure might lead to damaging consequences that can totally upset the matrimonial balance in families that seem outwardly harmonious. I will post the considerations under 5 main headers:

• AN UNDERSTANDING OF INFIDELITY
• THE GRIP OF INFIDELITY AND ITS LASTING CONSEQUENCES
• DEALING WITH THE SOURCES AND THE CAUSES OF INFIDELITY
• BREAKING THROUGH AND BREAKING OUT OF ITS IMPRISONMENT
• A LIFE-LONG PROTECTION ISSUE - HOW TO STAY FREE!

If you know of friends who have started having problems in this area, encourage them to read the postings here. Unless, men are prepared to face the truth, they will continue to be under the dark influnce of their own undealt with weaknesses.

1.1...WHY DO MEN FAIL AND FALL?
In the past months, many stories of infidelity emerged among my circle of friends. In the aftermath of such unfaithfulness and extra-marital affairs came unrequited hurts and irreparably-damaged emotions. The anger and the brokenness that accompanies such stories are a tragedy. It is not only the spouses that are affected but families are often dragged in and the children are left with such emotional scars that they are often affected for life.

I can only speak for the men in this posting because I am one! I will relate to you things that I have gone through and which I thought I could never recover from. By God's grace I am restored and healed but I want to say this - we can never ever assume that we are in control of such emotions and feelings.

1.2...IS INFIDELITY REALLY A WIDE-ENCOMPASSING PROBLEM?
I am sure that infidelity is one of the most serious problems around. Many many marriages are affected by it and unfortunately the ones we hear about are only the ones that have become serious and 'broken out'. What we hear about are really only a small tip of the ice-berg. The number of serious cases of infidelity are definitely very high. Most men have mastered the art of "hiding" their infidelity and many assume that so long as they can keep it hidden, it should not pose a problem to anyone. The art of keeping clandestine relationships a secret is a daily pursuit of a lot of men. The pressures are heavy for men in such situations but the seeming pleasures of "stolen waters" keep them going on.

1.3...UNDISCOVERED INFIDELITY IS DEFINITELY NOT HARMLESS?
Much as it as it seemingly does not harm those who do not know, undiscovered infidelity is not as harmless as it seems. Infidelity in any form is a betrayal of love and trust and no matter how well it is managed, it will slowly but surely eat into the spousal relationship and soon (however it is justified), that relationship will start to deteriorate. A man cannot give his passion and sexual priority to someone else and hope to maintain his spousal obligations at a high level. The attrition will soon wear away the facade and sooner or later, that man will have to contend with the issue of a decision that has to be made on his marriage.

1.4...THE SAD CONSEQUENCES OF INFIDELITY
Infidelity will always have its consequences. The secret trysts and the 'release' of sexual energy will drain the man of his ability to bring happiness to his family and his spouse. He can give equated amounts of attention to his family but still, the strain of such demands on his energy levels will become too high a price to pay. A man in such circumstances will soon have telling signs emerge of his involvement in such a terrible scheme of deception. He will feel tense and irritated as he juggles the time that is required for a 'secret' relationship that can only continuously make more demands on his time.

1.5...THE PLEASURES OF INFIDELITY IS ALL-CONSUMMING
"Stolen waters are sweet" is perhaps an understatement in extra-marital affairs. Stolen waters are often like the best honey mixed with the most delicious juices. It is more than sweet; it is tantalising and overpowering. The secret pleasures of illicit relationships is a journey of adventure and thrills that is seemingly matchless at its beginning. For the first-time man in such a relationship, it is even more of an eye-opener. The joys of unbridled sexual and physical release is something that every suffering sponse needs to understand if the problem is to be beaten back and overcome. Imagine a man who has slowly drifted into a predictable and boring 'journey' in his marriage suddenly come into a situation where he has a chance to give expression to his long-subdued sexual imaginations and fantasies. It becomes an all-consumming pleasure and one that he longs to have more and more. It becomes more than just a pursuit - it becomes an addiction that will be hard to break. For such men, even if one affair is discovered and broken, they will just move on to the next one developing a greater proficiency in hiding his involvement. Sad but so true. The recognition of the 'real' problem therefore has to be the first constructive step to come out of such a situation.

1.6...THE TERRIBLE RESPONSE OF DENIAL
How many men in a situation of infidelity will ever think of coming out of it and lose the pleasures that he is enjoying? How many will allow guilt to nudge them into a position where they will confess to it and face the terrible humility of ignominous embarassment and being despised by friends and family members? No one will rightly want to face such a situation, not when he is already addicted to the 'crazy' feelings of extra-marital sex and pleasures. This denial on the part of the man is not difficult to evoke. In the first place when he strays, he has already considered the 'cost' many times and weighed it up. Where it is concealment for the men, the issues is very different for women. Many wives often come into their own state of denial. They already have a happy family and one where the community has given it acceptability and standing. In the social circles, the spouses are already seen as successful and the families are seen as very much bonded together. Many wives are simply afraid of losing what has taken years to build and they avoid thinking about what could affect them. Successful men unfortunately have spouses who are so proud of the family achievement that failure becomes a non-consideration. So denial becomes the norm.

Such situations of 'arms-length' myopia actually condones the behavior of many men who continue to live secret double-dealing lives. "So long as I do not know about it, I don't care" has become an adage of modern wives in 'professional' and business families. Having half a husband is perceived as better than having no husband and besides, many of these wives have grown overweight and unattractive (despite spending thousands on beauty every month - but what to do with all the good food around and available) and would have no options in terms of another marriage as an alternative. So the environment has determined what is deemed as acceptable until the storm breaks out.....

NEXT POSTING: INFIDELITY AND ITS LASTING IMPRINT

Dream your pictures

Dream your pictures, paint your dreams. Don't let life get you down. Stay strong & rise above your circumstances. Each storm will pass you by and a new dawn will come. Remember to LAUGH MUCH because life should never be serious. So what if you have problems, so what if you have difficulties that cannot be solved, so what if you may not wake up tomorrow. Laugh today - find a friend who can share with you such moments and throw caution to the wind. It will inspire you to rise up to where you can be..... Yes my friends, don't stay down in your life. Keep looking and keep trying. "Failure is not failure until you fail to try!"

In my last posting, I couldn't quite put up my Powerpoint over my blogsite. Those of you who are interested in the Powerpoints for the Little Angels and the Mount Kinabalu climb, please email me at onghocksiew@gmail.com.

LIFE IS ABOUT CHOICES...
Life is about making choices - the right ones. I will never forget the time when I discovered I had this condition called OCD or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I will switch the lights on and off 20 times before I could walk away from it; I will touch the sink handle 15 times before I could finish washing my hands; I will write the letters of the apphabet meticulously before I could finish writing my homework; I will use special hand cleansers and I will clean my hands 50 times a day; I was terrified of heights; I was scared stiff of the dark; I was also scared of the water. I had such insecurities they consumed me. I was always afraid that something will happen to my mother and we will all be destitute.

WE OFTEN IMPRISON OURSELVES WITH OUR OWN THOUGHTS
Such a life is no life at all. Read up on the Internet about such sufferers and the experts tell you there is no cure. There is also a chemical deficiency in the body - a shortage of seratonin. The big problem is few people would want to have a such a friend in their life so friends slowly move away. The mental grip of such a condition is terrible and try as we would, the condition persisted. At one stage I was resigned to the fact that I will never have a cure for it in my life. But I was wrong - I was wrong because I was determined to beat this condition and this determination brought me the victory!!!

WE CAN OVERCOME IF WE DON'T LET GO OF HOPE...
My friends, I beat this condition and I beat it bad with God's help!!! Even when people thought that there was something wrong with me, I knew that I would one day be free of this terrible mental affliction. My many friends who have been led by me up Mt Kinabalu the past 53 times will testify to you that I show no symptoms of OCD - not at all. What a victory!! What a feeling of winning!!

IT IS ABOUT TAKING THE SMALL STEPS
If you know of anyone who has such a condition, refer them to me. I will show them how they can be free of this terrible disease of the mind. It is about taking small steps to at first stop giving in to the condition. Then it is about taking the small little steps to come free of it. There must be a strong and consistent mental appraoch and a commitment to the Champion's creed.

WITH GOD'S HELP, WE CAN STAND ON MOUNTAINS.....
I will write more about it in the future but I want to end by saying that we should never let the roaring threats of economic and physical hardships defeat our spirits. The battle is in the areas of our minds and our spirit. So long as we stand up and endure, we will still be standing when the fury of the storm has abated. With God's help, we can do almost anything that we set our minds on - you can be sure of that! With God's help, we can stand on mountains.....

Giving is so difficult...

Dream your pictures, paint your dreams. Don't let life get you down. Stay strong & rise above your circumstances. Each storm will pass you by and a new dawn will come

Sometimes I wonder why I get myself involved with so many fund-raising programs. It has gotten to a stage where my friends don't like to see me approaching them. Sometimes I think, "Why do I embarrass myself in this way?". But when I see the needs again coming up from those who are poor, oppressed, down-trodden and very much in need, my heart goes out to them.

I hope you will continue to give notwithstanding the poor economic conditions. Give and it shall be given to you. Don't be like one or two of my well-to-do friends. They give a thousand ringgit and they think they have done you a huge favor. They don't even see where their money is going. Such miserly 'skin-flints' will never really enjoy their money because they don't understand what giving really is and what it does to them. I have 2 powerpoints here which are all for fund-raising. One is for the world-famous Little Angels concert from China and the other is for two Charity Mount Kinabalu climbs scheduled for April and May.

God bless you richly as you think of giving.......