Tuesday with Morrie...

Am I older than I look?
Today I turned 58. My wife and I went for a walk and she said, “Happy Birthday on your 59th Birthday!” I was taken aback and so I asked her, “Do I look older than what I am – you have added one year to my life!”

My wife is indeed my inspiration
She was a bit embarrassed as she laughed with me. Bless her, she really is my inspiration. There was this one time when I was sitting with my purse opened and was looking at her photograph with my grandson. She passed by and noticed and she exclaimed, “I must really inspire you to have you keep my photo in your purse!” “ Yes, I said – you really do!” She asked me to explain and so I told her, “It’s like this. Every time I have a really big and serious problem that I can’t solve, I will take out your photo, look at it and say to myself, “What problem can be bigger than this one and I will really feel much better after that!”

An uneventful birthday
Well jokes aside, I spent my birthday uneventfully. Woke up, went to church, had lunch with Derrick, Siew Lan and Chong, then went up to Gracehill Orchard Lodge, Berjaya Hills, came back and played badminton with my son-in-law Nicky after which I had dinner at Lindy and Nicky’s condo (with dinner prepared by Nicky). It was a great dinner (special Hainanese Chicken Rice Nicky style). After that Lindy suggested that we watch the show “Tuesday with Morrie” and I thought what an uninteresting name for a show. Anyway, I told her to go ahead since I have nothing else to do.

What a show – "Tuesday with Morrie"
What a great show it was!! It really touched my innermost parts and I cried at many of its segments. It was a show about life and about living. Morrie was Mitch’s teacher and he was diagnosed with Lou Gehrig disease (incurable and progressive ending in death). There were great lessons given out as Morrie was dying and it is a show for the whole family because it plants in us values that are important to cope with our fears and our insecurities. Read my blog at http://www.franklyopen.blogspot.com/ for more details.

It brought back many memories
The show brought back so many memories for me. Morrie reminded me of my mother and how little time I had for her when she lay dying. I had made so many promises that I will care for her, look after her and be with her whenever she needed me but the “busyness” of our lives made it unfulfilled promises. I remember being wracked with guilt as I saw my mother struggle through her final moments and when I most wanted to reach out and comfort the woman who had given so much for me and who loved me unconditionally, the opportunity to love back was gone. I was overwhelmed with remorse and guilt over the weeks after her death.

Lessons from Tuesday with Morrie
Morrie based on a real life story was the teacher of Mitch Almond. They had lost track of each other for 16 years . When Mitch saw Morrie on TV telling the story of his impending death, one thing led to another and they caught up. This catching up with his old school teacher who showed him how to love was to change his life. It added a new dimension to what Mitch had missed out on and feared over his working life. He feared failure and commitment and despite having a wonderful girlfriend in Janine, he could not commit to her for 7 long years. It was after Morrie had shared deep insightful lessons about life that Mitch started to realise that there was more to living than beating schedules and coping with 'busyness'.

It is a touching story of how each Tuesday was spent with Morrie and how great lessons were learnt. Through the tears when the situation really was hard because it reminds each of us of separation and dying, there was life that came forth. Let me summarize the lessons that came:

• Despite the great success Mitch had, Morrie asked a simple question, "Is this what you really want?" When I thought of it, this simple question is really profound. In our own lives if we re-examine it honestly, we should ask ourselves if what we are doing is really what we want to be doing? If it is not, we should find a way out soonest so that we can pursue the desires of our hearts again.
• Despite all the great gains that Mitch had, Morrie told him that "Love is the only rational act..." And that was the truth because without love, everything else that we do would be phony - a 'put-on'. That is why we should learn to love our spouses genuinely - let real true love pour out from our hearts and see what it will do. It will bring much healing as I have found and it will mend the hurts in our families. This is a powerful truth! He adds further by saying, "We must love one another or die...."
• So often we stay away from the things we fear like death and the unpleasant. There is no reason to do this because truth cannot be hidden. Morrie told the story of "the little wave" to Janine, Mitch's girlfriend and what a story it was. When we think of ourselves as a little wave, we will fear breaking down on the shore. But when we see our wave as part of an ocean, we will realize our destiny and move on to the shore. Take away the fears in our hearts and let us move forward in confidence knowing that death is not an end in itself.
• Morrie also said, "We must learn to die before we can really learn to live". How true is this. Until we overcome our fear of dying, we cannot give full expression to life. We simply have to put aside this fear. Did Morrie grief and cry when he was hurting. Yes he did! But he learned to deal with it and to eventually overcome it. Death is really another beginning... Morrie also said, "Death ends a life, not a relationship".
• Life is all about touching someone. If we do that, we will discover the real joys of living and find real true love. Have you had a special teacher or a special someone who has touched your life and changed you? Will you be just such a special person who will touch someone else. There are deep considerations here. Think about it - touch someone soon.
• Don't delay forgiveness because one day it may be too late and you will regret it. Morrie said that we need to forgive ourselves first before we can forgive others. How true!
• Morrie also said, "We learn form what hurts us as much as what loves us!" This is a powerful truth that can change us.

At the end of the film, I came away from it reinforced in my desire to do good and to overcome evey limitation I have. I pray that it will change you in some way too as you watch the film with your loved one or family.