Just this morning, as I came out from the meeting where I had spoken at, this lady with tears in her eyes came up to me and said, "You spoke about your estrangement from your father for 17 years where you did not interact with him because of what had happened when you were young." Then she added in a hoarse whisper, "I have never known what a father's love is; I have never had someone called a father hug me and say how he loves me. He passed away a long time ago....." and then her voice trailed off. Then she said, "This morning as you spoke, I just felt such an emptiness in my heart. Can you tell me how I can fill this void in my life?"
I was speechless for a while and my heart went out to her. She was probably more than 60 years old and all this while, she had longed for a loving touch from a father but had never found it. As I looked back to my life where I too missed my father's love for so many years, I knew the answer in her case cannot be one laced with reason and rationale. When I was at my lowest moment looking for an answer, I found it when I turned to God and pleaded with him to help me understand why I could not have my actual father embrace me with his love. It was at such a time of desolation and "aloneness" that I said, "God, if you are really that God of love whom people tell me you are, then touch me now and let me feel your love.
As I said that, I felt a sudden touch of compassion and love that I had never felt before. It was like a powerful gust of wind that came and not only refreshed me, but also enveloped me with its light and its rays. I felt loved that day like never before. I knew then that this is the answer to what I have missed in the absence of my earthly father's love. As I turned to that tear-stained lady, I said softly, "You will find your answer if you turn to the one who has loved you with an everlasting love." With a slight twinge on her face, she replied and said, "I know. It was just that I needed you to confirm it for me." Then she smiled as the tears dried on her face.....
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Friday, November 28, 2008
Pure unadulterated love
Today, I spent the whole day with my Grandson, Daniel Ong (11) whom I brought back from Australia to spend a month with. He requested me to wake up very early to take him to school to see his old schoolmates and a girl whom he was anxious to be good friends with. I sent him at 6-50 am and waited patiently for him as he asked for permission from his ex-Teacher to go in to be with his schoolmates for a few hours. Then in the afternoon, he insisted on going again and I had to stand in the hot sun for another hour patiently waiting for him as he waited for his 'beau'.
I told him afterwards that I did not have to go through such an ordeal when I was courting his Grandmother 40 years ago. Then I took him for lunch and had to help him send emails to his old friends. Finally it was off to teach him how to play badminton. Of course with such a hectic schedule, he sat on our bed and was soon fast asleep.
As I looked at him lying there in his innocence, I stretched out to stroke his face. In his "half awake-half asleep" stupor, he reached back and gripped my hands in his. What pure unadulterated joy and contentment flowed through my emotions. It was a love that exceeded what the human heart could contain and I was happy like I had not been for a long long time. Even if he did not respond to my love, I would have loved him just as much. As I looked at him lovingly, I felt God's eyes looking at me in a somewhat similar way. I felt like I could have just stayed in his arms and basked in his warmth. Yes he loves me unconditionally. What an assurance!
I told him afterwards that I did not have to go through such an ordeal when I was courting his Grandmother 40 years ago. Then I took him for lunch and had to help him send emails to his old friends. Finally it was off to teach him how to play badminton. Of course with such a hectic schedule, he sat on our bed and was soon fast asleep.
As I looked at him lying there in his innocence, I stretched out to stroke his face. In his "half awake-half asleep" stupor, he reached back and gripped my hands in his. What pure unadulterated joy and contentment flowed through my emotions. It was a love that exceeded what the human heart could contain and I was happy like I had not been for a long long time. Even if he did not respond to my love, I would have loved him just as much. As I looked at him lovingly, I felt God's eyes looking at me in a somewhat similar way. I felt like I could have just stayed in his arms and basked in his warmth. Yes he loves me unconditionally. What an assurance!
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Laugh a bit.....
Dream your pictures, paint your dreams. Don't let life get you down. Stay strong & rise above your circumstances. Each storm will pass you by and a new dawn will come
BOY! WAS IT A MISTAKE!!
I had just finished attending a meeting in Kota Kinabalu. There I met this old friend of mine whom I had not seen for a good 15 years. As I warmly shook his hands and chatted with him about the old days we started to bond again. Then I saw a lady seated just next to him who looked just a wee bit old. I turned to him and said, "Great to see you bringing your mother along!"
His face changed expressions and then he exclaimed, "What? My mother? She is my wife!!!"
I was embarassed no end and the great bonding turned sour! He quickly left and did not even bother to say goodbye. Have you had such an experience before? I have learnt to now shoot my mouth slower and be careful about how we perceive situations!!!
LET ME END WITH THIS STORY ON THE RIGHT RESPONSES.....
This young man who was studying in England was such a great spender that his parents were tired with his constant request for money and the way he wrote home. One day they received what was the last straw for them because the letter was brief and short and it contained the following message....
"Dear daddy, no money, not funny, your Sonny"
The parents thought through this and decided that enough is enough so they replied.....
"Dear Lad, so sad, too bad, your Dad!"
Isn't this how we should sometimes respond to the wrong requests?????
BOY! WAS IT A MISTAKE!!
I had just finished attending a meeting in Kota Kinabalu. There I met this old friend of mine whom I had not seen for a good 15 years. As I warmly shook his hands and chatted with him about the old days we started to bond again. Then I saw a lady seated just next to him who looked just a wee bit old. I turned to him and said, "Great to see you bringing your mother along!"
His face changed expressions and then he exclaimed, "What? My mother? She is my wife!!!"
I was embarassed no end and the great bonding turned sour! He quickly left and did not even bother to say goodbye. Have you had such an experience before? I have learnt to now shoot my mouth slower and be careful about how we perceive situations!!!
LET ME END WITH THIS STORY ON THE RIGHT RESPONSES.....
This young man who was studying in England was such a great spender that his parents were tired with his constant request for money and the way he wrote home. One day they received what was the last straw for them because the letter was brief and short and it contained the following message....
"Dear daddy, no money, not funny, your Sonny"
The parents thought through this and decided that enough is enough so they replied.....
"Dear Lad, so sad, too bad, your Dad!"
Isn't this how we should sometimes respond to the wrong requests?????
On character and standing
"Many people have ideas on how others should change; few people have ideas on how they should change.".....Leo Tolstoy
"It's amazing how many cares disappear when you decide not be be something but to be someone!"..... Coco Chanel
How true the above sayings........
I have just returned from Australia and coming back home (and Malaysia is certainly my home - my country whom I dearly love), I am saddened by how things are developing in this country that has such potential for greatness but has such little tolerance for openness and the truth........
On Politics and political meanderings......
I had expected Sharizat to challenge Rafidah Aziz for the Presidency of UMNO even before I left for Perth. I cannot imagine how such a smart woman as Rafidah can rationalise her position by contesting and then saying that she will step down from her position in March. She was my Lecturer before and I always held a very high view of her abilities but even my regard for her from that angle cannot rightly help me fathom why she would want to overstay her welcome in this way. She has served the Women's wing so well for many years; she has left her legacy there. Now all these years of reputation built among UMNO wanita can come crumbling down because of pride or stupidity. The fact that Sharizat had garnered such high votes when she was not even contesting for Presidency shows that many in UMNO Wanita are already fed-up with Rafidah. With such signs, how can it be that she still doesn't see that she is overstaying.
If she resigns today, she will go down in the annals of UMNO Wanita as a great leader who has contributed greatly to its cause. She will be seen as an elder stateswoman who had the mantle of greatness upon her life. If she contest the Presidency and loses, it will be an ignominous end to what could have been such a meaningful and dignified exit. Why, why, why????? Why contest and hold the position for a short few more months and upset the many who feel that it is all a farce to begin with? What difference can three or four more short months in power do?? It doesn't stand to reason.Such a smart woman - such foolish thoughts......
Could it be that the hold on power is so irresistably strong that she just wants to see if there is just that small marginal chance for her to continue another term. People who are in power that long cannot see themselves. They have always been told by their loyal subordinates what they have wanted to hear all these years such that they cannot look at reality anymore. They have sadly mistaken character for standing and standing for character........ How sad!!!!!!
On Air Asia and budget fares
I was tickled pink to read in the Star about an irate Air Asia traveller who complained about the new Air Buses of Air Asia on her trip to Melbourne. She lamented about the 3-3-3 seating arrangement on Air Asia and said that the seats were too narrow. I think she must either be an ignoramus or someone who complains about everything in her life. Thank God I am not married to such a one as this!
I am a seasoned traveller flying to various destinations about 3 times a month. I use both MAS and Air Asia. Let me be very candid and fair in my views here. Air Asia has really brought air travel to such affordable levels that almost everybody can now afford to fly. They have done a huge favor to us because I remember so clearly MAS announcing that they will have no choice but to increase air travel between KL and Kota Kinabalu to above the RM1,000 level when they still had a monopoly of the skies a few years back. Those of us who travelled regualrly betweeen the 2 destinations were horrified. We knew that MAS was just passing the cost of their terrible incompetence and unchecked spending to passengers on this sector. Those of us who were affected could only sigh great gulps of relief when Air Asia came in and brought rates so low that MAS had to sing a different tune.
I have now made Air Asia the carrier of my choice even though I can well afford to travel on MAS and other other airlines. The reasons are simple - the "no frills" approach makes sense to all of us and the purchase of food on board gives us an option of choice. I took the new Air buses to Perth and back last week and I must say "Kudos" to Air Asia. The planes were clean and functional and the seat spaces were just like the ones on SIA and MAS (Economy class). So just what was the writer in STAR talking about when she complained about space?? I have no idea. I am 6 feet 1 inch tall and I was quite happy with the comfortable seats and the space. I had a great flight to Perth as well as great flight back. Obviously she must weigh 220 pounds or be 6 feet 5 inches tall.
On Politics in organisations......
So you thought politics only existed on the political stage in Malaysia. Would you believe me if I told you that there is just as much politics in the NGO scene. I belong to a Rotary club as I have done so for many years. In my latest Rotary club, I can't believe the efforts that people would take to go out of their way to play politics and use methods that are more suited in UMNO, MCA, DAP, PAS, MIC and the likes of such parties. Back-stabbing, spreading rumors, creating pressure groups, targeting people to expel, appointing "yes" people, etc are all found in the drama of social organizations. I could go on and on about the orgnazational infidelities of people but suffice it to say that the corruption of values is as much prevalent as the corruption of morals.
There is scant regard for grace and goodness and people who discredit others by calling into question character and standing are themselves full of blemishes. But do they see these blemishes?? Sadly no!! So the scheming and conniving goes on and people who are sincere and desirous of building ideals get wrestled out of the way. How sad the ways of men and how devious are the intentions of men?
Samuel Butler states that "There are no mistakes so great as that of being always right!" How true this saying. Leroy Eimes adds, "A Leader is one who sees more than others see, who sees farther that others see, and who sees before others see...." I pray that we will have more of such Leaders both in the political arena in Malaysia as well as in the social and communal arenas.......
On more pleasant things....
I brought my Grandson back from Perth for one month and what a joy it is to be able to share with him moments and events. I taught him to swim this morning and when he completed about 12 laps, I was so happy. Then I taught him badminton and pushed him to play until his hands and body ached. The I took him for my Rotary meeting and made him sit through it. As we walked back to the car with my hands wrapped around his shoulders, I knew that the joys of this world cannot compare to having the love of someone you value and care for. It is now almost 1.20 am and he is asleep. As I look into his face of innocence, I can only feel a love that is matchless. It need not be spoken out and yet it is there. I know that I will love him irrespective of who he is and what he becomes. It is a faithful love and one that has little conditions. I can just sense the flow of emotions so strong they are like a torrent - even when asleep, it is there.
Tonight I will sleep and be assured because I know my God loves me just like that except that it is even more!!! How blessed am I to be able to love my Grandson so unreservedly and to know that I am also loved just as unreservedly and more.
Ong Hock Siew
"It's amazing how many cares disappear when you decide not be be something but to be someone!"..... Coco Chanel
How true the above sayings........
I have just returned from Australia and coming back home (and Malaysia is certainly my home - my country whom I dearly love), I am saddened by how things are developing in this country that has such potential for greatness but has such little tolerance for openness and the truth........
On Politics and political meanderings......
I had expected Sharizat to challenge Rafidah Aziz for the Presidency of UMNO even before I left for Perth. I cannot imagine how such a smart woman as Rafidah can rationalise her position by contesting and then saying that she will step down from her position in March. She was my Lecturer before and I always held a very high view of her abilities but even my regard for her from that angle cannot rightly help me fathom why she would want to overstay her welcome in this way. She has served the Women's wing so well for many years; she has left her legacy there. Now all these years of reputation built among UMNO wanita can come crumbling down because of pride or stupidity. The fact that Sharizat had garnered such high votes when she was not even contesting for Presidency shows that many in UMNO Wanita are already fed-up with Rafidah. With such signs, how can it be that she still doesn't see that she is overstaying.
If she resigns today, she will go down in the annals of UMNO Wanita as a great leader who has contributed greatly to its cause. She will be seen as an elder stateswoman who had the mantle of greatness upon her life. If she contest the Presidency and loses, it will be an ignominous end to what could have been such a meaningful and dignified exit. Why, why, why????? Why contest and hold the position for a short few more months and upset the many who feel that it is all a farce to begin with? What difference can three or four more short months in power do?? It doesn't stand to reason.Such a smart woman - such foolish thoughts......
Could it be that the hold on power is so irresistably strong that she just wants to see if there is just that small marginal chance for her to continue another term. People who are in power that long cannot see themselves. They have always been told by their loyal subordinates what they have wanted to hear all these years such that they cannot look at reality anymore. They have sadly mistaken character for standing and standing for character........ How sad!!!!!!
On Air Asia and budget fares
I was tickled pink to read in the Star about an irate Air Asia traveller who complained about the new Air Buses of Air Asia on her trip to Melbourne. She lamented about the 3-3-3 seating arrangement on Air Asia and said that the seats were too narrow. I think she must either be an ignoramus or someone who complains about everything in her life. Thank God I am not married to such a one as this!
I am a seasoned traveller flying to various destinations about 3 times a month. I use both MAS and Air Asia. Let me be very candid and fair in my views here. Air Asia has really brought air travel to such affordable levels that almost everybody can now afford to fly. They have done a huge favor to us because I remember so clearly MAS announcing that they will have no choice but to increase air travel between KL and Kota Kinabalu to above the RM1,000 level when they still had a monopoly of the skies a few years back. Those of us who travelled regualrly betweeen the 2 destinations were horrified. We knew that MAS was just passing the cost of their terrible incompetence and unchecked spending to passengers on this sector. Those of us who were affected could only sigh great gulps of relief when Air Asia came in and brought rates so low that MAS had to sing a different tune.
I have now made Air Asia the carrier of my choice even though I can well afford to travel on MAS and other other airlines. The reasons are simple - the "no frills" approach makes sense to all of us and the purchase of food on board gives us an option of choice. I took the new Air buses to Perth and back last week and I must say "Kudos" to Air Asia. The planes were clean and functional and the seat spaces were just like the ones on SIA and MAS (Economy class). So just what was the writer in STAR talking about when she complained about space?? I have no idea. I am 6 feet 1 inch tall and I was quite happy with the comfortable seats and the space. I had a great flight to Perth as well as great flight back. Obviously she must weigh 220 pounds or be 6 feet 5 inches tall.
On Politics in organisations......
So you thought politics only existed on the political stage in Malaysia. Would you believe me if I told you that there is just as much politics in the NGO scene. I belong to a Rotary club as I have done so for many years. In my latest Rotary club, I can't believe the efforts that people would take to go out of their way to play politics and use methods that are more suited in UMNO, MCA, DAP, PAS, MIC and the likes of such parties. Back-stabbing, spreading rumors, creating pressure groups, targeting people to expel, appointing "yes" people, etc are all found in the drama of social organizations. I could go on and on about the orgnazational infidelities of people but suffice it to say that the corruption of values is as much prevalent as the corruption of morals.
There is scant regard for grace and goodness and people who discredit others by calling into question character and standing are themselves full of blemishes. But do they see these blemishes?? Sadly no!! So the scheming and conniving goes on and people who are sincere and desirous of building ideals get wrestled out of the way. How sad the ways of men and how devious are the intentions of men?
Samuel Butler states that "There are no mistakes so great as that of being always right!" How true this saying. Leroy Eimes adds, "A Leader is one who sees more than others see, who sees farther that others see, and who sees before others see...." I pray that we will have more of such Leaders both in the political arena in Malaysia as well as in the social and communal arenas.......
On more pleasant things....
I brought my Grandson back from Perth for one month and what a joy it is to be able to share with him moments and events. I taught him to swim this morning and when he completed about 12 laps, I was so happy. Then I taught him badminton and pushed him to play until his hands and body ached. The I took him for my Rotary meeting and made him sit through it. As we walked back to the car with my hands wrapped around his shoulders, I knew that the joys of this world cannot compare to having the love of someone you value and care for. It is now almost 1.20 am and he is asleep. As I look into his face of innocence, I can only feel a love that is matchless. It need not be spoken out and yet it is there. I know that I will love him irrespective of who he is and what he becomes. It is a faithful love and one that has little conditions. I can just sense the flow of emotions so strong they are like a torrent - even when asleep, it is there.
Tonight I will sleep and be assured because I know my God loves me just like that except that it is even more!!! How blessed am I to be able to love my Grandson so unreservedly and to know that I am also loved just as unreservedly and more.
Ong Hock Siew
On character and standing
"Many people have ideas on how others should change; few people have ideas on how they should change."
Sunday, November 16, 2008
On guilt & conscience
Dream your pictures, paint your dreams. Don't let life get you down. Stay strong & rise above your circumstances. Each storm will pass you by and a new dawn will come
THE PANGS OF GUILT.....
I will never forget the time when I first felt the pangs of guilt so strongly. I had been secretly stealing from my brother Hock Beng's stacks of coins that he had so painstakingly accummulated under the empty bed where no one was using. My father loved him (being the youngest son) and he would be given a lot of coins where we had none.
GUILT COMES STRONGEST WHEN THE WRONG IS FIRST DONE
The first time I opened the mat which covered his coins and took from the stacks there, I felt really bad - it was a sense of guilt that I had done something very wrong. Certainly, I was not entitled to the money but the slot machine opposite my house had the more urgent desire. After losing what I took from him, I would quickly take some more. The second time I stole from that pack, I felt a bit less bad. Then I took more and more...... and I kept feeling less and less bad.
REPENTANCE IS NATURAL WHEN WE ARE CAUGHT BUT IT DOES NOT LAST
Soon I began to justify why I was doing it - and I used the favoritism that my Dad had for him as the reason why I shouldn't feel bad about taking the money. After a while I actually felt like there was nothing wrong. Then I was caught and all hell broke lose. He complained in tears to my mother and my mother who was brought up by the missionaries as an orphan detested lies and stealing. The beating that I got as punishment got me guilty again and for a while I felt repentant. Then as quickly as it came, I did not feel so bad soon enough. True repentance, I found from an early age is not about just the shedding of "crocodile" tears. It has to touch the spirit deeply if it is to last.
SOON JUSTIFICATION TAKES OVER IF WE DO NOTHING ABOUT IT..
This was one of my early encounters with guilt. I realized that if I kept doing something wrong, the guilt turns to acceptance and acceptance quickly gave way to justification. This is exactly how sin works and in the same way, we quickly explain it away. That is why we seldom end up correcting our wrongs. Infidelity is like that and the more we get into it, the more we think there is nothing wrong. Corruption is also like that too. Ask the guy who got rich from corruption and he will take a lot of pains to explain to you why he is legitimate in what he does. Ask anyone about his own wrongs and he will explain how it is not like what you think. Wrongs can be right - it just depends on whose view it is.
CONSCIENCE IS A LITTLE BIT DIFFERENT
I remember being introduced to Butterfly catching when I was 10 years old. I thoroughly enjoyed running after the colorful butterflies and catching them in this big net that I had bought. The only problem was that each time a butterfly was caught, someone had to take it out of the net and press on its thorax until it is knocked out. At that tender age, each time I saw my friends do it, I would be horrified by that cruel act. My conscience simply would not allow me to be so cruel!
CONSCIENCE IS THE BEST DETERRENT SO LONG AS WE DO NOT STIFLE IT
Not willing to press all the air out of butterflies meant that I had to probably give up what I loved doing best - collecting these beautiful creatures on wing and I was not willing to do it. After days of contemplating the choices, I decided that I had to do what I had to do! So it was - the next time I caught a butterfly and it was huge "Rajah Brooke Birdwing", I had to take it up and pressed it on the thorax. I did it with great difficulty - that night I could not sleep becuase I felt so bad about it. I had to wrestle with my conscience the whole night long.
THE DEATH OF CONSCIENCE - THE BIG PROBLEM WITH MAN
The next time I had to do it, I did it and although I still felt bad, I quickly did what I had to do. Then I did it again and again. On my tenth catch, I was not even thinking about my feelings anymore. I told myself that these lovely butterflies would die pretty soon anyway (they had life spans of between 14-20 days on average) and so I did it!!! After that, there were no more problems. That day when I felt nothing within me stirring anymore, my conscience died.
WITHOUT A CLEAR CONSCIENCE, WE HAVE LOST BEFORE WE CAN START
It is now years since I collected my last butterfly but I still think back to those days whenever I encounter issues that had to do with my conscience. On more occasions than one, my unclear conscience sputtered and died when I had to confront my secret desires and wants. It was always a losing battle when I had to stop going into something that I knew was not right. Stepping into temptations has been one of the biggest problems I have had in my life of excitement. Stepping away from them have been most difficult. I have since discovered that conscience is only useful and a deterrent if we take the early steps to avoid giving rein to our sinful nature. Anything after that is academic. Is it any wonder then that most men fall badly in their lives; some never to recover again..........
THE PANGS OF GUILT.....
I will never forget the time when I first felt the pangs of guilt so strongly. I had been secretly stealing from my brother Hock Beng's stacks of coins that he had so painstakingly accummulated under the empty bed where no one was using. My father loved him (being the youngest son) and he would be given a lot of coins where we had none.
GUILT COMES STRONGEST WHEN THE WRONG IS FIRST DONE
The first time I opened the mat which covered his coins and took from the stacks there, I felt really bad - it was a sense of guilt that I had done something very wrong. Certainly, I was not entitled to the money but the slot machine opposite my house had the more urgent desire. After losing what I took from him, I would quickly take some more. The second time I stole from that pack, I felt a bit less bad. Then I took more and more...... and I kept feeling less and less bad.
REPENTANCE IS NATURAL WHEN WE ARE CAUGHT BUT IT DOES NOT LAST
Soon I began to justify why I was doing it - and I used the favoritism that my Dad had for him as the reason why I shouldn't feel bad about taking the money. After a while I actually felt like there was nothing wrong. Then I was caught and all hell broke lose. He complained in tears to my mother and my mother who was brought up by the missionaries as an orphan detested lies and stealing. The beating that I got as punishment got me guilty again and for a while I felt repentant. Then as quickly as it came, I did not feel so bad soon enough. True repentance, I found from an early age is not about just the shedding of "crocodile" tears. It has to touch the spirit deeply if it is to last.
SOON JUSTIFICATION TAKES OVER IF WE DO NOTHING ABOUT IT..
This was one of my early encounters with guilt. I realized that if I kept doing something wrong, the guilt turns to acceptance and acceptance quickly gave way to justification. This is exactly how sin works and in the same way, we quickly explain it away. That is why we seldom end up correcting our wrongs. Infidelity is like that and the more we get into it, the more we think there is nothing wrong. Corruption is also like that too. Ask the guy who got rich from corruption and he will take a lot of pains to explain to you why he is legitimate in what he does. Ask anyone about his own wrongs and he will explain how it is not like what you think. Wrongs can be right - it just depends on whose view it is.
CONSCIENCE IS A LITTLE BIT DIFFERENT
I remember being introduced to Butterfly catching when I was 10 years old. I thoroughly enjoyed running after the colorful butterflies and catching them in this big net that I had bought. The only problem was that each time a butterfly was caught, someone had to take it out of the net and press on its thorax until it is knocked out. At that tender age, each time I saw my friends do it, I would be horrified by that cruel act. My conscience simply would not allow me to be so cruel!
CONSCIENCE IS THE BEST DETERRENT SO LONG AS WE DO NOT STIFLE IT
Not willing to press all the air out of butterflies meant that I had to probably give up what I loved doing best - collecting these beautiful creatures on wing and I was not willing to do it. After days of contemplating the choices, I decided that I had to do what I had to do! So it was - the next time I caught a butterfly and it was huge "Rajah Brooke Birdwing", I had to take it up and pressed it on the thorax. I did it with great difficulty - that night I could not sleep becuase I felt so bad about it. I had to wrestle with my conscience the whole night long.
THE DEATH OF CONSCIENCE - THE BIG PROBLEM WITH MAN
The next time I had to do it, I did it and although I still felt bad, I quickly did what I had to do. Then I did it again and again. On my tenth catch, I was not even thinking about my feelings anymore. I told myself that these lovely butterflies would die pretty soon anyway (they had life spans of between 14-20 days on average) and so I did it!!! After that, there were no more problems. That day when I felt nothing within me stirring anymore, my conscience died.
WITHOUT A CLEAR CONSCIENCE, WE HAVE LOST BEFORE WE CAN START
It is now years since I collected my last butterfly but I still think back to those days whenever I encounter issues that had to do with my conscience. On more occasions than one, my unclear conscience sputtered and died when I had to confront my secret desires and wants. It was always a losing battle when I had to stop going into something that I knew was not right. Stepping into temptations has been one of the biggest problems I have had in my life of excitement. Stepping away from them have been most difficult. I have since discovered that conscience is only useful and a deterrent if we take the early steps to avoid giving rein to our sinful nature. Anything after that is academic. Is it any wonder then that most men fall badly in their lives; some never to recover again..........
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
You can dream it!!
Dream your pictures, paint your dreams. Don't let life get you down. Stay strong & rise above your circumstances. Each storm will pass you by and a new dawn will come. Remember to read the 5-part series on INFIDELITY by scrolling down. Share it with a friend who is going through a tough time with this issue.
I am currently in Perth. I am having such a great time walking my Grandchildren to school holding their little hands as we cross the road together. It is times like these that make our lives so much richer. The love I feel for them is so much like the love that I feel God has for me. When I fell head first into the 3 feet swimming pool in MBS and crushed my head into the bottom, I felt his hands around me when I regained consciousness choking on the water. It was like as if he was holding on to me and loving me at the same time. he spared my life again....... I am humbled and I am grateful for his wonderful grace & mercies.....
I am not sure with my latest neck injury from that diving accident if I can dive again. my neck still hurts when I turn but I am grateful for life. people used to tell me that at 58, I am past doing the things that younger people can do. I know that it is not true. So long as we are willing to step out and try, we will achieve most of what we set out to do. That has been the story of my life and that's how it will be. look at my video and see if it is not true.....
I am currently in Perth. I am having such a great time walking my Grandchildren to school holding their little hands as we cross the road together. It is times like these that make our lives so much richer. The love I feel for them is so much like the love that I feel God has for me. When I fell head first into the 3 feet swimming pool in MBS and crushed my head into the bottom, I felt his hands around me when I regained consciousness choking on the water. It was like as if he was holding on to me and loving me at the same time. he spared my life again....... I am humbled and I am grateful for his wonderful grace & mercies.....
I am not sure with my latest neck injury from that diving accident if I can dive again. my neck still hurts when I turn but I am grateful for life. people used to tell me that at 58, I am past doing the things that younger people can do. I know that it is not true. So long as we are willing to step out and try, we will achieve most of what we set out to do. That has been the story of my life and that's how it will be. look at my video and see if it is not true.....
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