PART 3: Causes of Infidelity

Dream your pictures, paint your dreams. Don't let life get you down. Stay strong & rise above your circumstances. Each storm will pass you by and a new dawn will come (START READING FROM POINT 1 - POSTING ON 10 NOVEMBER 2008. THIS IS SERIES OF 5 PARTS ON INFIDELITY).

3...DEALING WITH THE SOURCES & CAUSES OF INFIDELITY

3.1...THE ROOTS MUST BE DEALT WITH FIRST
Using the analogy of the tree, cutting the "trunk" of infidelity is really only a temporary measure at best. Without digging all of its roots (and I stress 'all'), the re-emergence of Infidelity will soon come back. There is no other way to address the situation except through an extraction of all the roots of that evil. Often it is through a realization of the pain that it is causing loved ones that brings about a deep repentance. At other times, it is exposure of the infidelity that brings about the change. there are no easy ways to deal with infidelity. The roots have to be severed completely and it is not an easy task

3.2...THE DARK SHADOW OF THE INFLUENCE OF PORNOGRAPHY
Almost without fail, all those who are deeply involved with infidelity has got a pornography connection. The problem with pornography is that it is often kept as a secret and sometimes not even the close members of the family are aware of what is going on. Many men are addicted to strong sexual images and many can't even have sex without conjuring pornographic fantasies in their minds, such is the influence of pornography. Pornography has a sharp two-edged cut - one, it invokes a constant deeper involvement into hardcore pornography and two, it causes men to be dissatisfied with their wives. The pornographic images are almost of perfectly contoured bodies and any attempt at comparisons will almost always lead to disinterest in the spouses of men. Pornography is often a secret with grave consequences.

There is really no end to pornography. It delves deep into the spirit and it stays there provoking the body to long for those times where that deep inner need has to be satisfied. Almost without exception, pornography would cause a veering of the mind and the spirit into distortions and perverted imaginations. If a man is honest enough, he will say that life is a constant battle of trying to keep out image fantasies from his mind. If a really beautiful girl walks by, it will be the really virteous guy who can keep a straight face and walk past that image of beauty and desire without a second glance. That is how men are often caught up with their own little corners of desires and images that are not wholesome.

3.3...THE INFLUENCE OF BROKEN FAMILIES & ADULTEROUS RELATIONSHIPS
Often, it would seem that the men who have grown up in disjointed families (where brokenness and adulterous relationships have been an integral part of their upbringing) should have the strength to overcome such implicative and negative tendencies. Surprisingly however, many of the men who fall are exactly replicative of their fathers who were morally defective. The 'copycat' syndromme is often the trend in modern families.

3.4...THE INFLUENCE OF THE INTERNET AND ENTERTAINMENT
The image of models and 'stars' are projected into almost every area of our lives. The Internet has become such a supplier of pornography that it has become one of the largest and most signifciant revenue areas on the net. Entertainment in trying to secure ever -increasing revenue flows has joined in the trend towards liberalisation and fantsies to draw in the crowds. It is all about responses and demand. More and more, moral values are thrown to the wind in what ends up as entertainment. Information has also become a source of great moral declines. So long as the Internet maintains its high limits of tolerance, such liberal values would continue to churn out images of women and sex that are accessible to many. Those who feast on such presentations would soon treat infidelity with lower standards of concern.

3.5...THE FAMILY MAKE-UP
Without going into details of what is happening to modern families today, it is safe to say that families are beginning to deteriorate in their moves towards sexual emancipation. The lowering of standards is seen as an attempt to inculcate self-control and greater discipline. The arguments for a belief in the ability of people to make wise choices is today prevalent but it is flawed. That is why so many are falling into infidelity with drastic consequences.

Without restraints, the whole flow today is too strong to be countered. Not until people realize that the high price to pay for infidelity is a breakdown of the family unit will there be a move backwards into the moral acceptance of greater restraint and change.

Preventive controls are already too little too late. It is now about inducing the old-fashioned values of love and respect and about pushing the sanctity of marriage as the tools to be used against infidelity. There is still hope in such a push. If enough people stand up to speak for change, change can still come. It is now time to win proponents of fidelity to band up against the flow of too much liberalism. I have seen many cases of true repentance touching lives so strongly that they have changed for the better.

The move back into conventional spiritual values and a push for Godly intervention and help can be a catalyst for great change. It can and it must begin with us. It is like the small boy who was throwing back stranded starfishes into deep waters. An adult came by and seeing the thousands of stranded starfish littering the beach asked him, "Of what good are you doing when you can only help such a small fraction of the starfish stranded? What difference can you make to them, son?"

As a reply, he took one more stranded starfish and as he threw it back to the sea, he said to the adult, "For this starfish, I have made the difference.'

Yes, we certainly can make a difference. With small individual efforts, we can help men beat their infidelities and turn to build their families into strong and vibrant families impacting others.

NEXT: 4...BREAKING THROUGH AND BREAKING OUT OF ITS IMPRISONMENT

PART 2B: How Infidelity works

Dream your pictures, paint your dreams. Don't let life get you down. Stay strong & rise above your circumstances. Each storm will pass you by and a new dawn will come

PART 2: HOW THE HUMAN MIND-SET & DECISION-MAKING WORKS

2.4...THE HUMAN RESPONSE MECHANISM
There are 4 parts in the whole decision-making process - the body, the heart, the soul and the spirit. Without going into a detailed explanation of the process, most of the human response mechanism centres on the first three areas:

• 1...the body which is the physical touch and response process


• 2...the heart which is the emotional touch and response process and


• 3...the soul which is the mind or intelligence touch and response process


• 4...the spirit which is the spiritual touch and response process is seldom touched deeply except where it invokes deep emotional responses, anger, unforgiveness & sexual acts and ties. Why is the sexual area connoted in this area? It is because sex permeates every part of our being and it is embedded in the spirit of the person.

It is when the spirit part is touched that there are really deep registrations of imprint and it is difficult to break out of such 'ties' that touch the spirit. Men who have strayed into this area must first understand the workings of the spiritual touch and response process to have any chance to come out of the situation.

2.5...INFIDELITY TOUCHES DEEP INTO THE SPIRIT REALM
Infidelity reaches well beyond the first three areas of the human response mechanism. It carries the bodily sensation of satisfaction; it reaches well into the emotional highs of the heart and it goes deep into the inner recesses of the mind. Sexual feelings under the umbrella of illicit relationships also touches straight into the spirit of the people involved and this is the reason why the sexual union of illicit relationships is so severely addictive. It is a feeling that encompasses the whole being and it is hard to break free from such a feeling when entered into.

2.6...THE PERCEIVED IRRELEVANCE OF CONSEQUENCES WITH PLEASURE
Caution is usually thrown to the winds where great pleasure awaits. Once tasted, the pleasures of stolen waters becomes seemingly sweeter with the passing of each tryst and this continues so long as the joys of unbridled sex carries no implications of responsibilities. Once ownership is demanded by one of the two parties involved, the whole fabric of unencumbered pleasure would be called into question. But the pleasures of such thrills and excitement continues for great lengths of time because of the grip of the spirit. The unfortunate part is that it is really hard to let go.......

NEXT: PART 3 - DEALING WITH THE SOURCES & THE CAUSES OF INFIDELITY

PART 2A: Like a tree planted

Dream your pictures, paint your dreams. Don't let life get you down. Stay strong & rise above your circumstances. Each storm will pass you by and a new dawn will come

PART 2 CONTINUED...

2.3...Infidelity: The analogy of a tree planted
The planting a big strong tree begins with a seed. Infidelity is similar - it all begins with a little seed of desire. All the time when that seed starts to grow, it grows roots that finds its way down into the ground. These roots find their way to get entrenched so that the tree that grows up is held down altogether. Only after sometime does the trunk of the tree come out as a small harmless-looking shoot. It seems so innocent but when that shoot has emerged, it has already got a lot of roots holding it down. When the first signs of Infidelity comes out, it has already seen some time of quiet and secret development. At this stage, there is still some chance of resolution but it will already be slim.

If the shoot is allowed to grow into a tree with a solid trunk and branches, the situation would have become almost impossible to carve out solutions. To do that, you will need to cut off the tree and then de-root it. Merely cutting the trunk will be quite useless. That's because the problem will be resolved for a while and then the uncut part of the trunk will simply grow again. That's the way it is with Infidelity. It needs to hae all the roots pulled out. Even if you leave a few roots inits place, it will grow again. That's how serious infidelity is.

NEXT: 2.4...Understanding how the human MIND-SET & DECISION-MAKING works

PART 2: Consequences of Infidelity

Dream your pictures, paint your dreams. Don't let life get you down. Stay strong & rise above your circumstances. Each storm will pass you by and a new dawn will come

PART 2: THE GRIP OF INFIDELITY & ITS LASTING CONSEQUENCES

2.1...THE PREVALENCE OF INFIDELITY
The number of cases uncovered of infidelity in recent times suggest that it is much more prevalent than previously thought. If Infidelity is really looked at closely, one would see that it has always been a huge problem for Leaders. Kind David was one such example and it is not surprising to see the same kind of behaviorial links in Leaders who fail and fall.

2.2...SOME UNFORTUNATE RECENT EXAMPLES
Recently some of the cases of Infidelity that were shared with me were alarmingly blatant. Look at the cases that I am citing here:

CASE 1

It always begins with small things
John (not his real name) was a Senior Banker. He had met Gail (not her real name) at an Interbank meeting. At the first handshake, there was already chemistry in the exchanged glances. He was good looking, in his forties and a smooth talker. She was divorced and although a tad heavy, was still attractive in her heavily made-up appearance. A lunch meeting followed under the pretext of sharing notes on work-related problems. The suggestion of going on an outing followed and the venue was isolated enough for the two of them to spend quiet secluded moments together. Soon, the outings increased and innocent "hand-holds" developed into hugs and tender moments.

The development of the liaison - deeper involvement
When the suggestion for an out-of-town trip came, it was eagerly agreed to by both parties. Of course, only one room was booked as John had already got it all figured out. When the time for check-in came, he simply went up to the counter and did the check in personally. Then he led up to the lift and when he opened the room, she coyly asked him, "Are we staying together?" She had already kind of expected it. With trembling hands, he opened the door and before the bags could be stowed away, they were already in a warm embrace and as they kissed passionately, the whole stage was set for the next two days. They hardly left the room as they revelled in "affection" that had never been experienced before.

Guilt is only a temporary sojourn
When the two days were up, they were already talking about the next trip...... Guilt racked John as he went home where he gingerly explained that he had two tiring days of meetings and it was tough wanting to evoke empathy from his wife Kathy. Kathy had been long-suffering and she had suspected for a long time now her husband's tendency for infidelity. She had tried not to think about it and instead focussed on her children who were now in their teens. She thought that by spending time to develop them, she would earn his approval. Sex slowly became more and more of a routine that grew less and less. she simply didn't feel any depth in their sexual connections and soon she put it aside in her mind.

When the problem breaks out into the open.......
The situation continued in this way until one day she found evidence of their relationship. The tell-tale evidence left behind brought her smack into reality and she had now to confront the truth. When Kathy confronted John, he simply and blatantly said that he was involved and told her that he no longer wanted to live with her. It was that simple - he just walked out on her! There was not even enough time for recriminations. The hurts that came was unyielding and she could not sleep for months thinking about where she went wrong.

The tragedy of the consequences of Infidelity
Self-wracked by guilt initially, Kathy went from remorse to deep anger. A quiet intorvert, she gave way to fits of violent anger. She felt more than cheated and betrayed - she wanted to hit back. At the end after many occasions of bitter and acrimonious meetings arranged by well-meaning friends, she gave up trying. Divorce came two years later and she has come to terms with reality. Kathy is still attractive but she is already in her fifties. All she has to live for now are her children. The first grandchild has come but she still hasn't recovered fully. She is still given to bouts of crying and depression and carries resignation as her portion.

Is it really any better in the long-term
John is seemingly much happier in his new relationship but Gail has found out that he has carried out other relationships with younger girls. She has had no choice but to forgive him and accept him because she also "stole" him from someone else. she is hoping that with age (he is now almost 60) he will change.

THE UNANSWERED QUESTION
This tragic case brings forth some critical questions. Could the infidelity have been avoided? Could Kathy have done something to save the marriage? While various suggestions could be framed as seeming answers, it requires more than just logic and reasoning.

Sure Kathy could have done much more but John would have still gone on with the relationship. The answer is really in John's hand and that is why this series of Infidelity is so important. It is aimed at the men who are essentially the Initiators in such illicit relationships. In their hands lie the answer. Gail is to some extent a perpetrator but if John had not taken the initiative, the fall-out would not have happened. John must see the consequence of his act before there can be a chance at change. Then he has to seek help - he must understand that this is really an addiction and any attempt to change on his own accord can only result in failure. The third step which is what I hold personally is that he must turn to God to help him correct his terrible secret - that insatiable desire for gratification and girls. Turning to God is just a beginning. He has to really embrace God continuously if he hopes to beat this problem and keep the sanctity of his marriage aand family.

More will be talked about of this God-factor in the later Parts on Infidelity.

CASE 2

A Church Leader who fell.....

Case 2 is the story of a Church Leader who was also a corporate leader. Wallace was a successful General Manager of a huge corporation. He had been going regularly overseas on his marketing trips. On most of such trips, he had declared his standing where it came to entertainment and nightspots. He told his colleagues and clients that he was a Christian and had clear ideals that could not be violated.

External forces at work
This went on well for a couple of years. On one of the subsequent trips after this period of good behavior, one of his colleagues got together some clients and told them that they should really test Wallace's resolve and faith. They "booked" Lucy, one of the most beautiful and sexy girls from a well-known agency and said that if she could get him to sleep with her, they will give her a bonus that ran into the thousands. She took up the challenge attracted by the monetary reward.

Temptation begins with the onset of desire
Later that night, she knocked on his door dressed to tempt and attract. He made the mistake of opening his door a little to see who it was. What he saw blew his mind. Here was the most beautiful and exquisite woman he had ever seen and she was smiling invitingly at him. The slit on her cheongsam that came up to almost her thighs showed legs that went on forever and the dark shadows that flitted on the low neckline projected a tantalising image of sexual invitation. When he looked down at her body, he could feel a weakness creep up his legs. Then she said demurely, "I am a friend of some of your friends and they asked me to deliver a message to you. Can I come in?" Wallace did not need any persuasion at all.

The point of "no return" is very short
When she took that first step into his room, he had already lost the battle. She didn't even need to try very hard. The minute she leaned her firm toned body against his, he could already feel the obsession of sexual lust flow into him. As she helped him take off his shirt and sensually used her hands to run all over his body, he was totally and irreversibly committed to the torrid sessions that were already set in motion.

Resolve has no chance against lust
Such is the power of sex and lust that the strongest resolve can become putty in the hands of a skilled woman. Wallace had no chance after that. After that trip, he began to plan regular trips to that destination and each time, the first thing he did was to call Lucy. He could not do without her and he showered expensive gifts and monetary rewards on her. He could afford it and after all, it rejuvenated him. He began to find all kinds of justification to explain away his actions.

Justification is often a tool that falls short......
For a couple of years this went on and to banish his guilt, he did try to increase his physical interest in his wife. He had more sexual sessions with his wife and he used this to justify his extra-curricular activities. Unfortunately he had a sharp and perceptive wife. The change in behavior was not like Wallace. His wife started notice the change in dressing, the obsession with expensive things and the sharp increase in the credit card bills. Soon the suspicions was followed by 'tracking' trips to follow her husband. On one such trip, she waited until Lucy had entered his room. She had cleverly checked in at the Reception as his spouse and asked for a spare key. When she opened the door and saw her husband in a compromised position with Lucy, all hell broke loose.

The consequences of the "after-effects"
The aftermath that followed was one big battle. Although they did not divorce, the whole marriage had been undermined. It was to change negatively and the family sanctity was totally shattered. It was a litter of many broken pieces and it has remained this way for the past 15 years since it happened.

The Unanswered Question
Wallace remained a church leader right across the time when he was carrying his infidelity at its highest point. He did not allow even the slightest restraint to stop his philandering ways. It is amazing in its continuation over that time. Guilt figured only very briefly and it is interesting to note that guilt is never any effective as a deterrent. Why did Wallace forsake his beatiful family for someone he knew had no sense of fidelity to him. He knew that the minute he left Lucy, she would have a host of other lovers. Yet, he chose to remain oblivious to such unfaithfulness and stuck to what simply satisfied him. His considerations for his family was relegated to non-importance. Sad isn't it? The strongest bonds are still not enough in the fight against sexual lust and infidelity......

2.2...THE HUGE GRIP OF INFIDELITY
Those who know infidelity will almost know that it is one of the toughest task of all to break its hold on a man's life. Why is Infidelity so different from the other problems that we face in our lives? It is because Infidelity is an intrusion into the deepest part of our being and it touches into our spirits. Can addiction be broken? Can what is deeply ingrained in the spirit man be easily broken?

NEXT: 2.3...THE ANALOGY OF A TREE PLANTED

PART 1: Understanding Infidelity

Dream your pictures, paint your dreams. Don't let life get you down. Stay strong & rise above your circumstances. Each storm will pass you by and a new dawn will come

PART 1: INFIDELITY HAS TO BE UNDERSTOOD IN ITS TOTALITY

In the next few postings, the subject matter will be on Infidelity and why men in particular are so prone to fail and fall in this area of their lives....... It is my hope that spouses will read this together and begin to understand why this is such a serious threat to marriages in the modern world. The problem is often denial and a reluctance to consider the issue (until it is too late) for fear that exposure might lead to damaging consequences that can totally upset the matrimonial balance in families that seem outwardly harmonious. I will post the considerations under 5 main headers:

• AN UNDERSTANDING OF INFIDELITY
• THE GRIP OF INFIDELITY AND ITS LASTING CONSEQUENCES
• DEALING WITH THE SOURCES AND THE CAUSES OF INFIDELITY
• BREAKING THROUGH AND BREAKING OUT OF ITS IMPRISONMENT
• A LIFE-LONG PROTECTION ISSUE - HOW TO STAY FREE!

If you know of friends who have started having problems in this area, encourage them to read the postings here. Unless, men are prepared to face the truth, they will continue to be under the dark influnce of their own undealt with weaknesses.

1.1...WHY DO MEN FAIL AND FALL?
In the past months, many stories of infidelity emerged among my circle of friends. In the aftermath of such unfaithfulness and extra-marital affairs came unrequited hurts and irreparably-damaged emotions. The anger and the brokenness that accompanies such stories are a tragedy. It is not only the spouses that are affected but families are often dragged in and the children are left with such emotional scars that they are often affected for life.

I can only speak for the men in this posting because I am one! I will relate to you things that I have gone through and which I thought I could never recover from. By God's grace I am restored and healed but I want to say this - we can never ever assume that we are in control of such emotions and feelings.

1.2...IS INFIDELITY REALLY A WIDE-ENCOMPASSING PROBLEM?
I am sure that infidelity is one of the most serious problems around. Many many marriages are affected by it and unfortunately the ones we hear about are only the ones that have become serious and 'broken out'. What we hear about are really only a small tip of the ice-berg. The number of serious cases of infidelity are definitely very high. Most men have mastered the art of "hiding" their infidelity and many assume that so long as they can keep it hidden, it should not pose a problem to anyone. The art of keeping clandestine relationships a secret is a daily pursuit of a lot of men. The pressures are heavy for men in such situations but the seeming pleasures of "stolen waters" keep them going on.

1.3...UNDISCOVERED INFIDELITY IS DEFINITELY NOT HARMLESS?
Much as it as it seemingly does not harm those who do not know, undiscovered infidelity is not as harmless as it seems. Infidelity in any form is a betrayal of love and trust and no matter how well it is managed, it will slowly but surely eat into the spousal relationship and soon (however it is justified), that relationship will start to deteriorate. A man cannot give his passion and sexual priority to someone else and hope to maintain his spousal obligations at a high level. The attrition will soon wear away the facade and sooner or later, that man will have to contend with the issue of a decision that has to be made on his marriage.

1.4...THE SAD CONSEQUENCES OF INFIDELITY
Infidelity will always have its consequences. The secret trysts and the 'release' of sexual energy will drain the man of his ability to bring happiness to his family and his spouse. He can give equated amounts of attention to his family but still, the strain of such demands on his energy levels will become too high a price to pay. A man in such circumstances will soon have telling signs emerge of his involvement in such a terrible scheme of deception. He will feel tense and irritated as he juggles the time that is required for a 'secret' relationship that can only continuously make more demands on his time.

1.5...THE PLEASURES OF INFIDELITY IS ALL-CONSUMMING
"Stolen waters are sweet" is perhaps an understatement in extra-marital affairs. Stolen waters are often like the best honey mixed with the most delicious juices. It is more than sweet; it is tantalising and overpowering. The secret pleasures of illicit relationships is a journey of adventure and thrills that is seemingly matchless at its beginning. For the first-time man in such a relationship, it is even more of an eye-opener. The joys of unbridled sexual and physical release is something that every suffering sponse needs to understand if the problem is to be beaten back and overcome. Imagine a man who has slowly drifted into a predictable and boring 'journey' in his marriage suddenly come into a situation where he has a chance to give expression to his long-subdued sexual imaginations and fantasies. It becomes an all-consumming pleasure and one that he longs to have more and more. It becomes more than just a pursuit - it becomes an addiction that will be hard to break. For such men, even if one affair is discovered and broken, they will just move on to the next one developing a greater proficiency in hiding his involvement. Sad but so true. The recognition of the 'real' problem therefore has to be the first constructive step to come out of such a situation.

1.6...THE TERRIBLE RESPONSE OF DENIAL
How many men in a situation of infidelity will ever think of coming out of it and lose the pleasures that he is enjoying? How many will allow guilt to nudge them into a position where they will confess to it and face the terrible humility of ignominous embarassment and being despised by friends and family members? No one will rightly want to face such a situation, not when he is already addicted to the 'crazy' feelings of extra-marital sex and pleasures. This denial on the part of the man is not difficult to evoke. In the first place when he strays, he has already considered the 'cost' many times and weighed it up. Where it is concealment for the men, the issues is very different for women. Many wives often come into their own state of denial. They already have a happy family and one where the community has given it acceptability and standing. In the social circles, the spouses are already seen as successful and the families are seen as very much bonded together. Many wives are simply afraid of losing what has taken years to build and they avoid thinking about what could affect them. Successful men unfortunately have spouses who are so proud of the family achievement that failure becomes a non-consideration. So denial becomes the norm.

Such situations of 'arms-length' myopia actually condones the behavior of many men who continue to live secret double-dealing lives. "So long as I do not know about it, I don't care" has become an adage of modern wives in 'professional' and business families. Having half a husband is perceived as better than having no husband and besides, many of these wives have grown overweight and unattractive (despite spending thousands on beauty every month - but what to do with all the good food around and available) and would have no options in terms of another marriage as an alternative. So the environment has determined what is deemed as acceptable until the storm breaks out.....

NEXT POSTING: INFIDELITY AND ITS LASTING IMPRINT

Dream your pictures

Dream your pictures, paint your dreams. Don't let life get you down. Stay strong & rise above your circumstances. Each storm will pass you by and a new dawn will come. Remember to LAUGH MUCH because life should never be serious. So what if you have problems, so what if you have difficulties that cannot be solved, so what if you may not wake up tomorrow. Laugh today - find a friend who can share with you such moments and throw caution to the wind. It will inspire you to rise up to where you can be..... Yes my friends, don't stay down in your life. Keep looking and keep trying. "Failure is not failure until you fail to try!"

In my last posting, I couldn't quite put up my Powerpoint over my blogsite. Those of you who are interested in the Powerpoints for the Little Angels and the Mount Kinabalu climb, please email me at onghocksiew@gmail.com.

LIFE IS ABOUT CHOICES...
Life is about making choices - the right ones. I will never forget the time when I discovered I had this condition called OCD or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I will switch the lights on and off 20 times before I could walk away from it; I will touch the sink handle 15 times before I could finish washing my hands; I will write the letters of the apphabet meticulously before I could finish writing my homework; I will use special hand cleansers and I will clean my hands 50 times a day; I was terrified of heights; I was scared stiff of the dark; I was also scared of the water. I had such insecurities they consumed me. I was always afraid that something will happen to my mother and we will all be destitute.

WE OFTEN IMPRISON OURSELVES WITH OUR OWN THOUGHTS
Such a life is no life at all. Read up on the Internet about such sufferers and the experts tell you there is no cure. There is also a chemical deficiency in the body - a shortage of seratonin. The big problem is few people would want to have a such a friend in their life so friends slowly move away. The mental grip of such a condition is terrible and try as we would, the condition persisted. At one stage I was resigned to the fact that I will never have a cure for it in my life. But I was wrong - I was wrong because I was determined to beat this condition and this determination brought me the victory!!!

WE CAN OVERCOME IF WE DON'T LET GO OF HOPE...
My friends, I beat this condition and I beat it bad with God's help!!! Even when people thought that there was something wrong with me, I knew that I would one day be free of this terrible mental affliction. My many friends who have been led by me up Mt Kinabalu the past 53 times will testify to you that I show no symptoms of OCD - not at all. What a victory!! What a feeling of winning!!

IT IS ABOUT TAKING THE SMALL STEPS
If you know of anyone who has such a condition, refer them to me. I will show them how they can be free of this terrible disease of the mind. It is about taking small steps to at first stop giving in to the condition. Then it is about taking the small little steps to come free of it. There must be a strong and consistent mental appraoch and a commitment to the Champion's creed.

WITH GOD'S HELP, WE CAN STAND ON MOUNTAINS.....
I will write more about it in the future but I want to end by saying that we should never let the roaring threats of economic and physical hardships defeat our spirits. The battle is in the areas of our minds and our spirit. So long as we stand up and endure, we will still be standing when the fury of the storm has abated. With God's help, we can do almost anything that we set our minds on - you can be sure of that! With God's help, we can stand on mountains.....

Giving is so difficult...

Dream your pictures, paint your dreams. Don't let life get you down. Stay strong & rise above your circumstances. Each storm will pass you by and a new dawn will come

Sometimes I wonder why I get myself involved with so many fund-raising programs. It has gotten to a stage where my friends don't like to see me approaching them. Sometimes I think, "Why do I embarrass myself in this way?". But when I see the needs again coming up from those who are poor, oppressed, down-trodden and very much in need, my heart goes out to them.

I hope you will continue to give notwithstanding the poor economic conditions. Give and it shall be given to you. Don't be like one or two of my well-to-do friends. They give a thousand ringgit and they think they have done you a huge favor. They don't even see where their money is going. Such miserly 'skin-flints' will never really enjoy their money because they don't understand what giving really is and what it does to them. I have 2 powerpoints here which are all for fund-raising. One is for the world-famous Little Angels concert from China and the other is for two Charity Mount Kinabalu climbs scheduled for April and May.

God bless you richly as you think of giving.......